This hilarious tale of a chef constantly being bothered by a seagull nicknamed ‘The Pestilence’ is one for the ages
Anyone who tries to enjoy an ice cream in one of no end of British seaside resorts – St Ives, Margate, Padstow, we’re looking at you – will certainly be able to relate to this.
It’s a chef who was being bothered so much by a seagull during their breaks at work that they resorted to going on Reddit to ask for advice.
The seagull is so persistent that it’s even got a nickname – ‘The Pestilence’ – and it’s quite the read.
‘I’m obsessed with this,’ said @ellle_em who shared it over on Twitter.
And it prompted no end of responses.
I love that he’s considering quitting due to concerns about the seagulls. I’ve had been with them, but as a bear I always win. They’re pretty devious tho.
— HisRoyalFlyness The Timbersmith (@FlyIngenuity) June 25, 2023
“I call him The Pestilence”
— Luella Schmidt (@luellajschmidt) June 25, 2023
But only because ‘he’s probably too young to be smoking’. This sent me. It’s pure gold.
— Elizabeth Alli – DesignerUp (@LizTheWhizard) June 26, 2023
Translated to Shakespearean English:
“In mine occupation as a line cook, I oft find myself seeking solace by the dumpsters, partaking in the ritual of smoking, in many an instance throughout the day. A well-renowned tavern is this, besieged by seagulls in our carriage house, the…
— cyr (@cyr) June 26, 2023
I like to imagine that in an alternate universe, there’s a seagull version of reddit and this gull is posting about the human that he is trying to help quit smoking, but the human is a little bit dense and Human Control Services is being absolutely zero help.
— Kristy (@llamalluv) June 25, 2023
But just in case you find yourself in a similar situation, Reddit had some proper advice. Well, mostly proper.
‘National Geographic says seagulls don’t like “bright, scary owl faces on masks or balloons”. Obviously smoking in a mask isn’t gonna work but I really want you to try a balloon. It also suggested mirrors, wind chimes or hanging like an old cd to reflect the sun.’
ThreeFingeredTypist‘Just to add on to this – these methods work for the short term, as birds are generally quite smart and they do learn that nothing bad happens. They get used to these things pretty quick and so you have to rotate.’
foulfaerie‘I use a water gun on the prick that steals food from my cats. It works well and he fears me.’
mem269‘Have you tried couples therapy?’
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Source Reddit u/ingracioth