Our 25 Favourite Funny Tweets of the Week
Hello and Happy Hump Day, to those who celebrate. We’ll be back to our usual Friday slot next week, but in the meantime, let’s enjoy having a glance at the funniest things we’ve spotted on Twitter – just to take the edge off the midweek blues.
If you see something you like, show it some love.
1.
As a man you should be getting louder with your sneezes every year. By 35 people should be able to hear your sneezes outside your house. By 50 you should be making old people down the road think a storm is approaching
— Kafka, Esq. (@metalgearobama) August 29, 2025
2.
“During your times of trial and suffering, when you only see one set of footprints, it was then that I was recording Footloose.” pic.twitter.com/7e9xgrW8Q7
— Super 70s Sports (@Super70sSports) August 30, 2025
3.
[getting an eye test]
optician: what we do is very serious work
me:
optician: we are going to shine lights into your eyes and blow air into them now
me: why
optician: idk lmao
optician: look at this picture of a house with a hot air balloon
me: okay
optician: i live there
— Sam (he/him) (@mushycrouton) August 30, 2025
4.
“If you don’t work hard at school you’ll end up going to Wetherspoons at 8 in the morning and then going out to paint roundabouts”. pic.twitter.com/g0ZJftsGQ1
— Mark Cockerton (@CockertonMark) August 29, 2025
5.
Daughter looks nothing like him. https://t.co/2g2wCgfAVV
— Jason, ex inferis (@benedictsred) August 29, 2025
6.
Me: Why are you attacking the window?
Cats: We're catching flies.
Me: You think you're catching flies but really you're just jumping at them.
Cats: You say that as if you think that's a worthless thing to be doing.
Me: Yes.
Cats: What's worthless is you watching us doing it.— Michael Rosen NICE 爷爷 (@MichaelRosenYes) August 30, 2025
7.
It's only when you watch The Shining for the second time do you note Kubrick's masterful ironic foreshadowing in this opening scene. pic.twitter.com/X9a0XaFQh7
— Andy Ryan (@ItsAndyRyan) August 31, 2025
8.
As online rumours spread over the health of President Trump, there’s speculation as to how he might have recently come into contact with some kind of mystery virus or infection pic.twitter.com/HdInw0Pt9r
— Have I Got News For You (@haveigotnews) September 2, 2025
9.
"What a tangled web we weave"
-drunk spiders
— Uncle Bob (@UncleBob56) August 31, 2025
10.
No, I can't tonight. I already have plans to look at my phone somewhere else.
— Doc Johnny Fever (@NikiMarinis) August 31, 2025
11.
When you see Cate Blanchett outside that’s called a Venice Film Festival
— Louis Virtel (@louisvirtel) August 27, 2025
12.
it was actually really challenging for me to take candy from that baby, so i don't appreciate your tone
— trash jones (@jzux) August 27, 2025