Our 25 Favourite Funny Tweets of the Week
13.
Windsor Castle releases a CCTV image of the moment yesterday when a priceless solid-gold sugar-bowl went missing – staff are baffled as to who took it and what it could possibly have been smuggled out under pic.twitter.com/i8Cj7b6KwX
— Have I Got News For You (@haveigotnews) September 18, 2025
14.
could not have fucked this one up worse if i tried pic.twitter.com/ol7NOAhtgK
— bug spray cody (@aevris_) September 16, 2025
15.
— Bob Golen (@BobGolen) September 14, 2025
16.
Dracula: Good eveninggg.
Me: Oh
Dracula: It's me. It's Count Dracula.
Me: No, no I know. There's just a lot going on, I really don't need this right now.— Ben Crew (@BenjaminCrew1) September 18, 2025
17.
is there a mister ogynist? i'd be much more comfortable speaking to him
— Aphex Twink (@aesthete_angel) September 17, 2025
18.
Friends with benefits.
And the benefit is listening to me talking about the first 4 Black Sabbath albums every day.
— Benny 'Mostly Polish' Rollins (@citizenkawala) September 14, 2025
19.
It's bullshit that Elton John only sang about a tiny dancer. Just once he coulda dropped a jam about a fat-as-hell dancer.
— George Wallace (@MrGeorgeWallace) September 15, 2025
20.
The lack of urgency shown by the Paw Patrol when alerted to a situation will lead to loss of life. I hate to say it but Ryder is not right for the leadership role and should be stripped of his duties
— Anon Opin. (@anon_opin) September 16, 2025
21.
thought getting captured by cannibals would be terrifying but they’re actually feeding me really well
— Dreamer (@ElgatoEsmio) September 18, 2025
22.
My advice to young people to prepare for getting older is to start stretching immediately
— Trey (@treydayway) September 17, 2025
23.
“Listen to your body”
My Body: You slept weird so now your left knee hurts but get yourself a little treat, that’ll make you feel better
— Ghostface Kryllah (@kryzazzy) September 16, 2025
24.
Iron Maiden really make me laugh. ‘Oooh look it’s Eddie, Eddie the big zombie skeleton monster who we can’t do anything without’! Honestly grow up
— Ruth Husko (@dank_ackroyd) September 15, 2025
25.
My wife: Do we have beef?
Me: Well, I don’t like how you brush your teeth with hot water or how your vehicle is always on empty.
My wife: I meant ground beef. I wanna make tacos tonight.
— (@MoMohler) September 17, 2025
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Our 25 Favourite Funny Tweets of the Week
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