Carol Decker’s not getting on with these new plastic bottle tops and she was owned to her very heart and soul
Carol Decker – you remember – took time out from fondling her dinner service to share her frustration at the new breed of plastic bottle tops. You remember, the ones that are attached to the bottle.
And it’s fair to say she doesn’t like them, she really doesn’t like them.
Can somebody tell me what the fucking point of this cap attached to the bottle malarkey is? It’s a pain in the arse. I just have to cut them off all the time. pic.twitter.com/mWyOADvgdw
— Carol Decker (@caroldecker) October 14, 2025
And we mention it not because we still harbour a fondness for her ’80s heyday – five weeks at number one, apparently – but because of all the totally on-point responses she prompted.
And these people surely said it best.
1.
Anyone who is unable to work a bottle cap shouldn’t be let out on their own.
— OldishBird (@oldishbird1) October 14, 2025
2.
You don’t have to cut them off and they are easy to use. You just seem angry about change without logic. https://t.co/4Q8BHA6jkd
— CyclingMikey the Unspeakable (@MikeyCycling) October 14, 2025
3.
This is the reason pic.twitter.com/PwX0L3rUCs
— Yartsie123 (@yartsie123) October 14, 2025
4.
The fact that it has outsmarted you does not come as a shock.
— Phil Hardy (@Hardyarnoldred) October 14, 2025
5.
It's only been 3 years to be fair. She'll work it out eventually. https://t.co/2ciVCUuWCN
— Florence Lox (@floboflo) October 14, 2025
6.
They ensure the lid and bottle go for recycling and the lids don’t end up in the ocean, obviously you don’t give a toss about the environment
— Zar (@Zar_RedIssue) October 14, 2025
7.
Children have mastered using them. https://t.co/QwVrPRkmS0
— AJ (@andjamwar) October 14, 2025
8.
It’s a very simple idea to stop stupid people throwing them on the ground, or the beach, or in a water course, in order to ensure they are recycled along with the rest of the bottle. If you are cutting them off you clearly don’t care about plastics polution.
— Mike Percy #RejoinEU #FBPE (@MikePercy1) October 14, 2025
9.
It saves us from billions of small pieces of plastic polluting our planet and killing animals. Sad you don't have the IQ to use the attached lids.
— Glenntwts (@Glenntwts) October 14, 2025
Just in the interests of balance and all that, there were also people saying things like this.
The point is to inconvenience us. The project is social engineering. ESG – all that climate crap that nobody gives a monkey's bollock about. The bottle cap is a metaphor for the myriad ways in which ideologues can interfere with and generally impoverish our day-to-day lives.
— Ralo (@faraway_lights) October 14, 2025
Get in the bin.
A tiny inconvenience to help prevent this: pic.twitter.com/uEuYiTW65C
— Chris Leigh ️ (@rchrisleigh) October 14, 2025
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Source @caroldecker