‘What’s the funniest misunderstanding you’ve heard due to the difference between British and US English?’ – 22 slightly NSFW examples of the common language which divides us

If an alien arrived from space and had a cursory glance at the lives and habits of Brits and Americans, they would at first think we are basically the same. However, the harder they looked, the more they’d see that as cultures, we are actually worlds apart.

Over on the AskUK subreddit, user Squiggally-umf has been pondering this, and posted the following:

What’s the funniest misunderstanding you’ve heard because of the British English vs U.S English difference? Our company invited our counterparts from the U.S site to visit us and join our Christmas party.

The owner said dress code was wear what you feel comfortable whether that’s smart casual dress or black tie kind of thing. A group of us were discussing what we might wear and one of the Americans said ‘I dunno I think I might just wear a vest and pants’.

Our British lot burst out laughing thinking he was just making a joke but he and his American colleagues didn’t understand why it was so funny until we swapped images that showed for us in the UK a vest is a sleaveless top and pants is short for underpants, whereas for the Americans a vest is a waistcoat and pants is as in pantaloons/trousers.

And this comical muddle-up prompted lots of people to chip in with their own experiences of the transatlantic language barrier…

1.

‘Friend’s dad (British) had a lovely huge dinner with his (American) friends. After the meal he sat back in his chair, sighed and said ‘God, I could murder a fag right now’.

His American buddies were shocked – even more so because my friend is gay and he and his dad have a great relationship, so it was like ‘Why would you say something so violently homophobic, your beloved son is gay!’.

After it was all cleared up they had a big chuckle about it.’
–Helenarth

2.

‘I used to work with an American woman and once she sat on a chipboard box and exclaimed ‘Oh, I think I have a splinter in my fanny!’

18-year-old me absolutely pissed himself laughing. Then she said ‘Ohh… That means something different here, doesn’t it?”
–JK07

3.

‘My boyfriend and I were walking through Epcot wearing Disney-themed bumbags when a woman walked past and very loudly shouted ‘OH MY GOD I LOVE YOUR FANNIES!’. Gave us a good chuckle and we continue to randomly shout it at each other.’
–fillerbitch

4.

‘I’m American living in the UK. I came here when I was 27 for a postgrad degree. I was making small talk with someone once and they asked what brought me to the UK. I said that I came ‘for school’. They gave me a weird look and asked ‘How old are you?!’ I was affronted and insulted. Non-traditional students exist. You can go to uni at any age. Plus I usually get mistaken for being in my early 20s, so my vanity was a bit wounded.

It was only when I was later telling a British friend about this indignity that she realised the misunderstanding. In the US, any place of learning is a school, so people refer to universities as ‘school’. Here ‘school’ apparently refers to education for under 18s only. That guy’s reaction makes a lot more sense now.’
–mrggy

5.

‘I moved to the US when I was 25 – now been here over 20 years – and I couldn’t understand why people were asking me where I went to school – so I would tell them (and say my secondary school) and we’d all be equally confused…’
–7148675309

6.

‘My uncle told me about some USAF officers who were over here for some training and were downing cider in the mess one evening. They then planned on driving back despite being totally wankered and couldn’t understand what the issue was. Apparently cider is a catch all name for apple juice in the US and they assumed it was non-alcoholic.’
–Hamsternoir

7.

‘In the 90s I had an American friend on Yahoo chat and after a few years it finally dawned on her that when I was going AFK for my tea I was in fact having my dinner and not some weird daily ritual where my whole family would drink a hot drink together.’
–Questjon

8.

‘I used to work for a company that had both a UK and US office – and switching between the offices for projects was common. The difference in culture was present daily but I think the best example I can remember was in a meeting where a British colleague meekly raised their hand to signify they wanted to go to the toilet which caused an American colleague to leap across the table to give the startled Brit a high five.’
–Dangerous-Shower3778

9.

‘When working in Japan, I asked an American colleague if he had a rubber. This led to quite a hilariously confusing conversation until we both realised how the word differed in meaning to us both.

Needless to say, I did not need a condom at 10.30 in the morning.’
–Embarrassed_Deer7686

10.

‘An American friend invited us to her party. Dress code: fancy dress. Us Brits turned up dressed as cats and Teletubbies. The Americans came in suits and ties. To them, fancy dress meant suits and dresses.’
–Angelpunk68

11.

‘The names Shaggy and Randy – children’s cartoon characters named Fucky and Horny.’
–TheHalfwayBeast