Somebody asked for people’s ‘unhinged life hacks’ – 23 wildly unconventional tips and tricks you might want to avoid
13.
‘I once told a group of people who were really dithering about getting in their cars to leave a really busy retail park car park, that I was there for a job interview. They were very polite and apologetic and moved out of a space so I could have it.
I wasn’t there for an interview, I had an appointment for a facial at one of the cosmetics counters in House of Fraser.’
–Imaginary-Quiet-7465
14.
‘At McDonald’s, order wrap of the day and remove everything except the Chicken Selects. Cheaper than ordering two Chicken Selects. Don’t know if they’ve patched that one though, not done it in years.’
–CodeineFratelli
15.
‘Churches normally have a free car park. I search one up near to my destination. As long as they’re not gated, I’m good. I’m probably destined for hell but hey, anything for free parking.’
–throwmethegun
16.
‘They also often have free crèches during the services on Sundays. I haven’t actually turned up to worship for this purpose but I was definitely looking into it when my husband had the temerity to leave me to look after my own children for a weekend away.’
–dashboardbythelight
17.
‘Hypothetically one might share a railcard and take a chance on the fine being less than the saved money if a controller ever actually checks your face is the same face on the card.’
–everyoneis_gay
18.
‘There were roadworks outside my house for a year. Nothing actually happening, but signs and cones everywhere.
Most of us had street parking, so it was an annoyance. To solve this, I moved the signs a few feet to create a boxed-in space outside my house that was the exact size of my car. I could reverse in very easily, but almost any other car would either have its driver door blocked, or not fit at all.
So I had a reserved space for a year while everyone else fought over spaces. It actually helped the whole street because it also forced people to use the space sensibly, instead of parking with 2/3 of a space between them and a dropped kerb.’
–Forte69
19.
‘When closing my front door, I deliberately painfully squeeze the handle so that when in walking away and start to wonder if I closed the front door, the pain in my finger confirms that I did.’
–Angelf1shing
20.
‘This mostly worked about 5-10 years ago but if I wore really weird makeup and unconventional clothes during the pre-Christmas shopping period people would part like the red sea and I never had to deal with the crowds almost no matter where I went because the local population was desperate to avoid me.’
–vagueconfusion
21.
‘When I was at school, we got a new fingerprint system to pay for our food. The issue was that there were only two machines to top your account up with cash. This meant that there were often long queues. I used to rip my note slightly so I could take it to the office, and they topped the account up for me. I thought i was a genius and didn’t tell a soul till now.’
–Rawshark96
22.
‘Car key on top of my lunch in the fridge. Then I can’t leave without it.’
–Dense_Wave9543
23.
‘I always drive through Road Closed Ahead signs. I have been caught out once in two years. Not a bad batting average considering the council round here will close the road for literally any reason whatsoever.’
–Icy_Attention3413