Our 25 Favourite Funny Tweets of the Week
Happy Friday to all who celebrate (people who don’t work weekends) and welcome to the last weekly round-up of Twitter jokes before 2026.
We made a list. We checked it twice. Then we checked it a whole load more times, because we’re not dealing with naughty or nice, it’s bigger than that – it’s funny or not funny.
Grab yourself a cuppa and feast your eyes on this lot.
1.
Claudia Winkleman accepted her MBE at Windsor Castle, where the guards wore specially themed headgear in her honour pic.twitter.com/L9dj2hxtNj
— Have I Got News For You (@haveigotnews) December 9, 2025
2.
Thank you for your email. As you are likely aware, I am mentally checked out until 2026 and will be unable to provide a response to your inquiry until then. If you have any questions, that’s unfortunate.
— Matt Margolis (@ItsMattsLaw) December 10, 2025
3.
i’m sick of being forced to eat micro plastics. i am ready for big plastics now
— zoë bread (@zoebread) December 10, 2025
4.
Ads will be like “great deal on stocking stuffers!” and it’s a beanbag chair and an inflatable kayak.
— Lurkin' Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) December 9, 2025
5.
Christmas doesn’t truly begin until stores remind us Easter is basically tomorrow.
— 尺乇乃乇ccﾑ (@cheeky__gal) December 5, 2025
6.
The best way to deal with stubbornly tangled strings of Christmas lights is to soak them for several hours in tears of rage and frustration, then buy new ones.
— paul bassett davies (@thewritertype) December 6, 2025
7.
Honestly riding in a one horse open sleigh in the snow in December sounds like the opposite of fun.
— ScottW (@jswtreeman) December 9, 2025
8.
Not to brag but I boiled the right amount of pasta. Once. Five years ago
— Μαρια Κιτρινη (@greek_heanen) December 10, 2025
9.
Life isn’t a sprint, it’s a marathon: too long, mildly painful, and full of people yelling “you’re doing great!” when you’re clearly dying inside.
— ɢʀɛɛռ ɢօɖ (@iGreenGod) December 11, 2025
10.
Americans are funny man “it’s 72 degrees outside” bro I don’t speak oven
— Pastor Kyle. (@itsqail) December 11, 2025
11.
i don’t mind the 6-7 thing because i lived through a full decade of everyone yelling WHASSSUUUUUPPP.
— ally (@missmayn) December 8, 2025
12.
Things you can say to empower a male
– you picked that up fast for a guy
– it’s so cool to meet a man who is interested in female stuff like politics and science
– Your PhD was on the Romans? Did you know Julius Caesar was killed?
– Some of my favourite historians are men— Madelaine Hanson (@MadelaineLucyH) December 7, 2025