Our 25 Favourite Funny Tweets of the Week
13.
I don't care what she says, if all you get her for Christmas is you, she's going to be pissed
— Matty (@bestestname) December 5, 2025
14.
if stranger things was british it would be called bit odd innit
— gu̸c̸c̸i̸fe̸r (@____selah) December 7, 2025
15.
He's making his list… He's checkin' it twice.
He left it at home.
He's texting his wife.
— PUNS (@ThePunnyWorld) December 8, 2025
16.
Has anyone seen my husband? The one here is dressed like my husband, talks like my husband and took the bin bag out like my husband. BUT this one put a new bin bag straight in afterwards.
— Late to the party Laura (@ericamorecambe) December 9, 2025
17.
My grandad used to say "You can't take it with you". Usually followed by "Seriously, put down my sofa".
— Martin Pilgrim (@MartinPilgrim1) December 8, 2025
18.
I can’t believe it’s not butter but I wish it was because it’d taste better.
— krista (@kristabellerina) December 10, 2025
19.
Executioner: any last words?
Me: pineapple belongs on pizza. hit the switch
— DaddyJew (@DaddyJew) December 11, 2025
20.
Downstairs have been blasting their heating so we haven’t had to use ours pic.twitter.com/v630W9i9ec
— Gwdihŵ (@youwouldknow) December 10, 2025
21.
Me: “time to get some serious work done”
My brain: “for mysterious reasons, I will be of no use today”
— Neil Renic (@NC_Renic) December 8, 2025
22.
A dark day for parents is when their child stops believing in Santa and suddenly you lose all that leverage.
— The Real Rodney Lacroix (@RealRodLacroix) December 10, 2025
23.
After hearing that I have too many books and too many bookshelves, I’ve decided to cut back on the amount of people I listen to.
— Louise Jensen Duffy (writing as Ernest Jensen) (@LouiseWeebe) December 7, 2025
24.
Dear Apple, at no point will I ever text someone “he’ll yeah”
— ⛧ (@Rainwontmiss) December 9, 2025
25.
If i was a priest I wouldn't stop at water Id just make everything holy.
Welcome to my home, these are my Holy Van Halen albums
— Böb Jänke: Hönkÿ (@Bob_Janke) December 10, 2025
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