Ted Cruz said becoming American was the ‘greatest gift anyone could wish for’ and the rest of planet Earth responded as one

As the world waits to find out which sovereign nation the United States will take over next (Greenland, we feel for you. Seriously) Ted Cruz has been doing his bit to justify Donald Trump’s imperialist landgrab.

Trump’s lickspittle-in-chief said the annexation of Greenland by the US was a ‘very serious policy proposal’ despite no-one in the country or anywhere else outside of the US asking for it.

And in his largely if not entirely fictional attempt to justify it, Cruz said becoming American was the greatest gift that could be bestowed on anyone.

When talking about Greenland, Senator Ted Cruz said: “To become an American is the greatest gift we can give anyone on planet Earth.” pic.twitter.com/J4FemSYcg0

— Roman Sheremeta (@rshereme) January 5, 2026

And we’re glad he did, in a way, because the entirety of planet Earth – well, not all of it, obviously – was only too happy to put him right.

1.

They’re all f’ing insane. https://t.co/EhTdIyi3bt

— Barry Malone (@malonebarry) January 5, 2026

2.

Really? pic.twitter.com/eNYTLzG0cQ

— Stine Bosse / Christine (@BosseStine) January 5, 2026

3.

Growing up is realising that vast swathes of the American ruling elite are drug addicts, paedophiles or just mentally unwell. https://t.co/D3rqRo1hOL

— Aaron Bastani (@AaronBastani) January 5, 2026

4.

We will invade you, steal your resources, take your country, and make you become an American. This is our gift to you. You should be grateful.

— Ted Cruz summarized #Greenland pic.twitter.com/tac4SE1zC8

— Stephen Simpson ProperGander (@BamaStephen) January 5, 2026

5.

There’s a North Korean tone to this where many Americans simply can’t comprehend the idea that there are free nations whose citizens don’t want or need to be American. https://t.co/532uVbozDP

— Jason O’Mahony (@jasonomahony) January 6, 2026

6.

Yes! Just think, Greenland! You’ll lose your health care and be unable to afford it as you watch a trillion dollars of your tax money a year go to the Pentagon. You’ll be on the greased slope into poverty. But you’ll be an American.

— Radio Free NAFO Jack’s House (@FluteMagician) January 5, 2026

7.

Forcibly invade and make people ‘American’, yet when people come to the USA of their own free will to become American citizens, you call them aliens. https://t.co/0p4jad1hBh

— Carmentalist (@carmentalist) January 5, 2026

8.

As he lays there with his big fat belly hanging out. MFer

— Stella Parton (@StellaParton) January 6, 2026