Politics Rupert lowe

Rupert Lowe’s new party would use ‘mass deportation’ to solve the ‘un-British’ problem of people listening to loud music on trains – 19 massive facepalms

Oonagh Keating. Updated February 25th, 2026

We’re old enough to remember when Twitter, as it was then, was a micro-blogging site, we repeat – MICRO! Now, under the influence of Elon ‘Roman salute’ Musk, some posts have more in common with a novelette …including the level of fiction involved.

On that note, we cross to Musk flavour-of-the-month, Rupert Lowe, the right-wing, anti-immigration founder of the Reform-alike party Restore Britain, which is currently ramping up support amongst the people who consider being prosecuted for telling people to burn hotels full of migrants an infringement on their right to free speech.

He’s posted a 264-word rant about the undoubtedly anti-social practice of listening to music without headphones in shared public spaces.

Brace yourselves …

None of us want to listen to somebody else’s music on the tube, a train, a bus, wherever it is. We certainly don’t want to listen to some nonsense phone call on loudspeaker. Rude. Disruptive. And yes, un-British. We all hate it. I certainly do. A small issue, but it’s one that perfectly represents the continued erosion of our high-trust society. We have shared social standards that make public life tolerable and civilised. I’m largely of the view that people can do whatever the hell they like, as long as it doesn’t affect others. This affects others.

Restore Britain believes that public transport should be a space governed by basic courtesy and mutual respect. We will introduce a clear national rule: audio played on personal devices on public transport must be listened to through headphones. We will give stronger powers to transport staff for them to intervene, fine repeat offenders and if necessary remove them from the vehicle. Conductors and guards will be given proper protection in the law to help prevent any anti-social or aggressive behaviour against them.

I suspect our programme of mass deportations will help to solve this problem... Because I want our high-trust society back. And we can get it back. This is about restoring basic standards of public behaviour. A small minority has been allowed to degrade shared public spaces without consequence, while the quiet majority simply sit and endure it. Most British people are too polite to say anything about it. There is now a political party that will stand up for the quiet, decent majority. Restore Britain.

tl;dr – We think noisy people on pubic transport must be foreign, and we’re going to deport them all.

Where do you even start with that? The assumptions about who is listening to music without headphones? The ‘sledgehammer-to-crack-a-nut’ approach to low-level anti-social behaviour?

If they’re deporting people for listening to music without headphones in public, why not go the whole hog and lock them up if they leave a shopping trolley in a supermarket parking space? Even better – strip them of their citizenship for putting empty After Eight envelopes back in the box. Nobody wants that kind of behaviour.

Tweeters facepalmed so hard, it must have sounded like a round of applause. It really wasn’t.

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