‘What’s the “Don’t trust a skinny chef” of your job?’ 22 handy red flags to look out for in the workplace

To the world of work (yes, we know it’s Friday) and a question that strikes at the very heart of our relationship with colleagues: There’s always a rubbish one, isn’t there?

Redditor whooper346 used a fine turn of phrase on r/casualconversation (like r/AskReddit, only more laid back) to describe these incompetents and slackers:

‘What’s the “Don’t trust a skinny chef” of your job or industry?

‘For those who don’t know, “Never trust a skinny chef” is an old adage that implies a skinny chef can’t be too good of a cook if they don’t like to eat what they make. It’s not to be taken literally, just as a warning not to rely on someone who claims to specialize in a job but shows certain signs that they might not be too good at it.

‘For me, it would be someone who manages financial accounts for a client but doesn’t know how to set up or manage their own home budget.

As a journalist, it would be “He uses ChatGPT”, which would be enough to destroy any hack’s reputation. Editors at The Poke would like to take this opportunity to note that we use nothing but our brains to bring you the finest news and internet finds.

1.

‘I thought I would be in trouble when I started an accidental fire at work, but my boss just told me I’m a real lab chemist now.’
–TheSpeckledSir

2.

‘Same with computer programmers. You’re not a real developer until you’ve taken down production.’
–entropy_36

3.

‘A lawyer who doesn’t ask you any hard or uncomfortable questions about the strength of your case actually has no idea whether your case is any good.’
–VampireOnHoyt

4.

‘I was just going to say “never trust a lawyer that uses green ink”, but that might just be an English thing.’
–cathcart1138

5.

‘I personally distrust lawyers who always lead with, “I’ve been doing this for 31 years…”. They always mean for it to come across as impressive, but really it’s, “I picked a job and haven’t retired or been fired yet.”’
–Conscious_Okra4367

I, a former chemist who set fire to his own lab, have been a journalist for 37 years, and I feel seen.

6.

‘Don’t trust a vet who seems annoyed with animals, they are not kind behind the scenes.’
–ntmg

7.

‘Honestly that’s true of all healthcare workers. A ex-close friend became a nurse, based on how she treats people she likes I’m afraid for her patients.’
–CerBerUs-9

8.

‘Same with therapists, my supervisor makes fun of clients.’
–gentlrage

9.

‘Never trust overly confident people, especially so if they are in any kind of sales. Conmen, all conmen.’
–Emm_withoutha_L-88

10.

‘Building Maintenance, no one that wears a watch is competent. It’s the first thing to go when you start maintenance training.’
–WrongEinstein

11.

‘Similar for industrial maintenance, I don’t trust advice from anyone that wears a metal wedding band.’
–SpecificSkunk