Our 25 Favourite Funny Tweets of the Week
13.
I was in Sports Direct earlier and… wtf is this? Is David Cronenberg making sportswear now? pic.twitter.com/KU795f0jxY
— Michael Sellars | Horror Writer (@HorrorPaperback) March 13, 2026
14.
Sure, calling it chicken gravy is fine, but I just feel that ‘roostershire sauce’ would’ve been so much better.
— FᎪᎢ ᏩᎪNᎠᎪᏞF (@sofarrsogud) March 14, 2026
15.
How on earth do the BBC know the scores already?!
Rugby is fixed and this is the proof. pic.twitter.com/HEmOpKlhE4— Florence Lox (@floboflo) March 13, 2026
16.
Don’t EVER let your printer know you’ve waited until the last minute and you’re in a hurry, because it can sense fear.
— Ᏽ (@OrevaZSN) March 18, 2026
17.
There's 'being excited' about your Amazon delivery and then there's your cat's "I got a new cardboard box level of excitement"
— Ⓜ️isterD (@MisterD78UK) March 15, 2026
18.
New to the middle aisle. pic.twitter.com/s22Q5wpRTV
— Julie D Irwin (@JDIrwinbooks) March 14, 2026
19.
I asked my boys what they wanted to do when we get to our vacation spot today and they said eat snacks and stay in the cabin. Ok cool so you want to do what you always do but in a new more expensive location.
— Dadman Walking (@dadmann_walking) March 15, 2026
20.
I just found out that “Aaarghh” is not a real word.
I can’t express how angry I am.
— PUNS (@ThePunnyWorld) March 14, 2026
21.
“I’m down for anything.”
By anything I mean:
I need to be home by 8, food has to be involved, need to know who’s coming, and if there’s parking.— (@Lifeofstelynn) March 15, 2026
22.
It's amazing how music can transport you to another place.
For example, this coffee shop is playing Taylor Swift, so I'm going to another restaurant
— Weekday Jokes (@weekdayjokes) March 15, 2026
23.
People singing happy birthday to you feels like a real life unskippable ad
— ℯ (@AbakpaJob) March 14, 2026
24.
Doctors say that most serious childhood diseases are caused by viruses. A guy who eats dogs and snorts cocaine off toilet seats says they are caused by radiation from 5G cell phone towers. For a busy parent, it can be hard to know who to trust.
— NYTPitchbot (@DougJBalloon) March 19, 2026
25.
Duolingo should have an "I'm going on holiday to this country very soon" setting so it teaches you "can I have the bill" instead of "the cow boils an egg"
— parks (@parkersity_9) March 16, 2026
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Our 25 Favourite Funny Tweets of the Week
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