Our 25 Favourite Funny Tweets of the Week
It’s Friday morning, the weekend is almost here, and we’ve got 25 funny things from Twitter to share with you.
We can’t say that all is right with the world, but for a few minutes, we suggest you put that *points at the news and the weather* out of your mind and just enjoy the tweets.
If you find something you like, show it a bit of love.
1.
Just had two policemen at my door. They said, "Are you familiar with the letters HB?"
I replied, "No, I’m not."
"How about LS?"
"No."
"What about JD?"
I asked, "Hang on a minute, am I a suspect or something?"
The police officers said, "No, these are just initial enquiries."— Miss Ally (@MissAlly_01) June 2, 2026
2.
Baby has gotten good at identifying “dada” but still struggling with surrealism, cubism, even baroque.
— Forrest Cardamenis (@FCardamenis) May 29, 2026
3.
Sorry I'm late, I was reading The Iliad. Long story.
— Kip Conlon (@kipconlon) June 2, 2026
4.
the human spirit was not designed for this many passwords
— erika (@yeeeerika) June 3, 2026
5.
Donald Trump has posted a photo of himself along with the caption '007', in a clear reference to his current approval rating pic.twitter.com/cCcclcmyAe
— Have I Got News For You (@haveigotnews) June 3, 2026
6.
Tupperware is great for when you want to throw your food out on a different day . . .
— Julio, Marc's Imaginary Pet Monkey (@MonkeysMarch) May 29, 2026
7.
I told myself I should stop drinking…
But I'm not going to listen to some drunk who talks to himself.
— ɢʀɛɛռ ɢօɖ (@iGreenGod) June 4, 2026
8.
When you see the waiter walk by with food for the 47th time and you're wondering where yours is😂 pic.twitter.com/Lxvx9xed1I
— *☆A࣭࣪ꭑִׂ͓ׅ࣪ᦒ᩠ִׂ໋ׅ࣪꯱ָׂ Dυᥣᧉ᩠֗x Ⓧ🕷️ (@amos_dulex) June 4, 2026
9.
At my age, I can hide but I can't run.
— Bob Golen (@BobGolen) June 3, 2026
10.
Sorry, but there's no way you're building a billion mile long ship for sixteen dollars https://t.co/CHXU3TPh9W
— Hans Fiene 🦬 (@HansFiene) June 3, 2026
11.
There’s no way to look cool holding the leash of a dog pooping.
— Linda (@turtledumplin) June 3, 2026
12.
If ai is not conscious then explain how the mcdonalds touchscreen station knew i wanted an extra cheeseburger
— josh (oldfriend99) (@oldfriend99) May 30, 2026