Our 25 Favourite Funny Tweets of the Week
13.
40 years ago today, l asked my childhood sweetheart, my best friend and the most gorgeous woman l know to marry me.
All three said no.
— Robert Wilkinson (@robertwlk) June 4, 2026
14.
How many “Chuggas” is correct before choo choo? I really want this complaint letter to Amtrak to land
— Midnight Cowboy (@cowboyjeffkent) June 2, 2026
15.
I like to yell, “FUCK YES” when the fast food guy asks if I’d like any condiments, so he knows exactly how serious I am about honey mustard
— Nayele18 (@nayele18maybe) June 2, 2026
16.
I’m heading to Boston soon to support Bonnie Scotland in the World Soccer Cup.
Is it true that you’re allowed to open windows there? Seems mad and rather dangerous to me. What if a raccoon gets in. Or a crocodile!— Florence Lox 🇬🇧🏴 (@floboflo) June 4, 2026
17.
proofreading a professional email for the tenth time to make sure I didn't call the CEO's mother a slur and that the attached file is my resume and not a video of me dancing naked
— Jett (@iky_fwjett) June 3, 2026
18.
my cat has been ramming his head into my boobs a lot lately and i've read stories about how pets sometimes warn their owners of cancerous tumors using the same method so i went to the doctor and got checked and found out that my cat is just a pervert
— (@drizzylitfw) May 30, 2026
19.
All because I said no to bingo night pic.twitter.com/DdmW3Jh3Ma
— staxxx (@papiwontmiss) June 2, 2026
20.
horror movie lovers be like i love that movie it made me feel fucking awful and horrible and really scared
— cory (@coolmathgame_) June 1, 2026
21.
if you die in Microsoft excel you die in real life
— trash jones (@jzux) June 1, 2026
22.
Dodgeball was my chance to make the nerds know how it felt for me in algebra.
— (@MoMohler) June 2, 2026
23.
“Almonds actually use more water than AI.”
Okay, but I can eat almonds, and almonds have never applied for my job, written my performance review, or claimed they can replace me.
— Ᏽ (@OrevaZSN) June 2, 2026
24.
You know you’re over 50 when you have “upstairs ibuprofen”and “downstairs ibuprofen”.
— єℓαιηє (@elainesim28) June 2, 2026
25.
My son came home crying saying he’d failed a test at school.
I told him not to worry. One test will not define the rest of his life, and with hard work and determination he can do anything he wants.
Except perhaps teach PE while on drugs at that school again.
— Pundamentalism (@Pundamentalism) June 3, 2026
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Our 25 Favourite Funny Tweets of the Week
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