Our 25 Favourite Funny Tweets of the Week
It’s Friday, it’s Wimbledon, it’s the World Cup, it’s the Women’s T20 Cricket World Cup. What a terrible time to hate sports and love daytime TV.
If you’re sulking because they’ve moved your favourite afternoon quiz to make way for a Brit losing at tennis, console yourself with a read through our favourite funny tweets from the past seven days.
1.
John 3:16.
Matthew 3:17.
Luke 3:18.
It was a very close race.— God (@TheTweetOfGod) June 29, 2026
2.
The extinction of the dinosaurs is technically the highest ratio of birds killed with one stone.
— Ᏽ (@OrevaZSN) July 1, 2026
3.
hello I would like to apply for a job designing women's clothing in the year 2026. I have never actually seen human clothing before and I am generally unfamiliar with the concept, but I have a great deal of experience with couch upholstery from the 1970s. When can I start.
— Janel Comeau (@VeryBadLlama) June 29, 2026
4.
Germany will be needing Jurgen Klopp
Not to take over as manager, just to get the players the best deals on hotel prices now that they’re on holiday #WorldCup
— Fergal O'Brien Racing (@FOBRacing) June 30, 2026
5.
You know it’s hot when you go outside and it’s hot.
— National Park Service (@NatlParkService) June 30, 2026
6.
My next door neighbour have named all four of their sons after famous kings.
There's Charles, Henry, George, & Burger.
— Miss Ally (@MissAlly_01) June 28, 2026
7.
Give a man a fish and he'll text his buddy "dude some random guy just gave me a fish lol"
— Avogadro’s House of Moles (@schumoo) July 3, 2026
8.
going where i to drop certain words writing like this to stop AI from understanding me. i've had enough. you will AI bot never reply to me bc you will never understand i. i misinformation post will all the time. i will destroy AI by legible never sentence writing.
— derek guy (@dieworkwear) June 27, 2026
9.
Where does the Easter Bunny go for medical attention? The HOPital, hahaha, but no seriously I hit him with my car, I need help burying the body
— Andrew Nadeau (@TheAndrewNadeau) June 28, 2026
10.
Hidden in plain sight, the Fifth Beatle. pic.twitter.com/112MMoC9Qi
— Brian Roemmele (@BrianRoemmele) June 29, 2026
11.
Telemarketer: hello, am I speaking to the head of the household?
Me, handing the phone to my cat: It's for you.
— ꧁༒☬ ☬༒꧂ (@Gabbrielxzn) June 29, 2026
12.
Therapist: “Your wife says you never buy her flowers…is that true?”
Husband: “To be honest, I never knew she sold flowers.” pic.twitter.com/ZvYOWyQEgT
— Lloyd Legalist (@LloydLegalist) June 29, 2026