Our 25 Favourite Funny Tweets of the Week
13.
BREAKING NEWS pic.twitter.com/i28QZd7Z2g
— Domino's Pizza UK (@Dominos_UK) July 2, 2026
14.
I don’t understand why so many Americans are confused about how offsides works in soccer. It’s easy, if anything exciting happens, that’s offsides.
— Diego Lopez (@thisdiegolopez) June 29, 2026
15.
I feel so strongly about toilet graffititi that I’ve signed a partition.
— Robert Wilkinson (@robertwlk) June 29, 2026
16.
Would you please not vape your fruity flavor around my kids? my wife and i are raising them organically on Marlboro reds
— Mads (@europemaxxed) June 28, 2026
17.
Paper towel commercials are so fake. It’s always a kid spilling juice, never a cat throwing up
— (@FromN5_) June 29, 2026
18.
65.5 million years ago the extinction of the Dinosaurs
In the 5th Century we Attila The Hun
In the 14th Century the plague
In the 15th Century the Spanish Inquisition
In the 1930’s Typhoid
In the 1940’s the Nazis
And now in the 21st Century the word “like”
— wellyousaythat© (@wellyousaythatt) June 28, 2026
19.
In my 20s I asked a mate how will I know if a girl I'm dating is the one to marry. He said I should meet her friends, that if I can't bear them then she's not the one. Took me 15 years to realise he was paraphrasing Spice Girls' Wannabe as life advice.
— Fesshole (@fesshole) June 27, 2026
20.
“i asked chatgpt” well i asked a whale and she said “OOooOooOOOOoo
oOooo” and then sank a yacht— whalefact (@awhalefact) June 30, 2026
21.
All 7 of us saw you from across the bar and really dig your vibe pic.twitter.com/gRicq6EhPh
— Oli Dugmore (@OliDugmore) June 29, 2026
22.
All these young girls carrying around these giant fancy water bottles. I grew up in the 80’s and 90’s, I don’t think I drank water until I was 30
— Shannon (@gardengirl125) June 30, 2026
23.
My friend got a hairless cat and I'm trying to be supportive but it looks like she's cuddling a rotisserie chicken
— Wholesome Side of (@itsme_urstruly) July 1, 2026
24.
“I’m not a regular lecturer; I’m a cool lecturer,” you tell yourself, as you reference another tv show cancelled before your students were born.
— Neil Renic (@NC_Renic) July 1, 2026
25.
Man: “Your Honor, 60% of my parking tickets are bogus.”
Judge: “Repeat infractions?”
Man: “Fine… 3/5 of my parking tickets are bogus.”
— PUNS (@ThePunnyWorld) June 27, 2026
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Our 25 Favourite Funny Tweets of the Week
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