News Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor takedowns

Pizza Express held an inquiry into whether Andrew Mountbatten Windsor really visited their Woking branch… and found nothing – 17 reactions that can’t be topped

CW. Sexual abuse/exploitation

The Newsnight interview that allowed Andrew Mountbatten Windsor the chance to clear his name of allegations of sexual abuse in connection with the late convicted sex trafficker Jeffrey Epstein ended up casting more doubt on his innocence.

While the former prince hasn’t been charged with anything, and completely denies any criminal or improper behaviour, his explanations and alleged alibis stretched the public’s credibility to snapping point.

He famously claimed that he had been unable to sweat after an overdose of adrenaline during his Falkands service.

Not enough ‘Sure, Jan’ in the world for that one.

In response to a viral photo of himself with Virginia Giuffre, who accused him of sexual exploitation, he claimed to have been at Pizza Express with his family when the photo was supposed to have been taken. Not just any Pizza Express. Pizza Express, Woking.

Newsnight recently learnt that the restaurant held an inquiry into the claim, but failed to find proof that he either was or wasn’t there. The definitive answer will be in Mountbatten-Windsor’s personal protection officers’ logs, but the Met won’t release them for ‘reasons of national security’. Helpful of them.

Bluesky users had one or two thoughts.

1.

I've always thought it vanishingly unlikely that the man who is still eighth in line to becoming Britain's unelected head of state would have taken his family to Woking Pizza Express and that nobody would corroborate seeing them there

— David Osland (@davidosland.bsky.social) 6 July 2026 at 15:08

2.

I find it odd that:
a) neither of his daughters has confirmed this;
b) no one took a photo of him being there. I mean, how often do you see a member of the RF in Pizza Express? It would’ve been talked about!

www.bbc.co.uk/news/article…

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— Helen #FBPE #NHS #ClimateCrisis ️‍ (@heib20.bsky.social) 6 July 2026 at 10:41

3.

I bet he’s sweating now.. oh wait, he doesn’t sweat.. oh wait, he had a medical condition where he didn’t sweat at that time.. oh wait, the photo of him with the victim must be fake.. oh wait, a prince walks into a Woking pizza shop and no one, not one, saw him there.. oh wait, he’s FULL OF SHIT!

— Chiefy and Barney (@chiefy36.bsky.social) 6 July 2026 at 12:06

4.

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— (@fireytopaz.bsky.social) 6 July 2026 at 16:24

5.

“Apparently its not the first time they’ve had their fingers burnt by the upper crust…”

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— Dr Adam Evans (@a-b-evans.bsky.social) 6 July 2026 at 13:43

6.

Thin crust probes upper crust

— David Allsopp (@doublehelix.bsky.social) 6 July 2026 at 12:43

7.

Says something that Pizza Express does a more comprehensive investigation than the Met. Then, again, maybe it isn't that surprising

— Carl Barker (@carltbarker.bsky.social) 6 July 2026 at 14:06

8.

You know you've really fucked up when you've got Pizza Express investigating you.

— naz karim (@agentnaz.bsky.social) 6 July 2026 at 12:25