Donald Trump wants other countries to pay him for whatever the hell he’s doing to the Strait of Hormuz – 17 especially straight-talking replies

First it wasn’t a war. Then the war was over. Now, it appears, he’s trying to privatise it.

Donald Trump’s catastrophic Middle East clusterf-ck continues to cause headaches for the entire world and his latest bright idea will somehow make it even worse.

The American president now wants to be paid for everything going on with the Strait of Hormuz. It’s not totally clear what he’s talking about, but it’s some confusing combination of the United States “running” the Strait or “protecting” it and he wants to see money for his troubles. (Troubles he caused entirely, of course.)

Trump: “We’re gonna keep the strait, and we’ll probably run it. We’ll become the guardian of the strait. We should be reimbursed for that. When we do that, we’re gonna be reimbursed. We’re gonna get paid.” pic.twitter.com/O4ckjB2FkK

— Aaron Rupar (@atrupar) July 13, 2026

If that sounds poorly thought out, here he is how the President responded to CNN’s Kaitlin Collins when she asked for specifics about exactly who would pay the US for these vague services. (Get comfortable, it’s five minutes of brain melting word salad.)

I asked President Trump who exactly is going to reimburse the United States after he said America was “going to get paid for guarding” the Strait of Hormuz. pic.twitter.com/aD3mfqL5hN

— Kaitlan Collins (@kaitlancollins) July 13, 2026

None of what Trump is stammering on about holds up at all and the Twitter replies were happy to point out the many fallacies in his latest bold(ly stupid) proclamation.

1.

The new version of “Mexico is going to pay for the wall”

— bostonteaparty (@bostonteapartyd) July 13, 2026

2.

We’re gonna run the strait?
Bitch can’t even run a reflecting pool. https://t.co/VmCw68kq90

— Jo (@JoJoFromJerz) July 13, 2026

3.

Congratulations MAGA, Trump has just put a forever commitment of the US Navy to… checks notes… the Persian Gulf. https://t.co/INJ6Gk6YWY

— The Lincoln Project (@ProjectLincoln) July 13, 2026

4.

The only way to take over the Strait of Hormuz is a ground invasion. There would be massive US casualties and it will be another forever war. And every day Iran would try to kill US soldiers in Iran.

Iran knows this is another empty, desperate threat from trump. https://t.co/mA0R2v13Rr

— Ted Lieu (@tedlieu) July 13, 2026

5.

The world is laughing at him https://t.co/pCKDuuhzvE

— MeidasTouch (@MeidasTouch) July 13, 2026

6.

Trump is endorsing a forever war in the Middle East.

He is setting billions of your taxpayer dollars on fire over a war America doesn’t support, and Americans are literally also paying the price at the pump.

And Republicans are voting to let this war go on forever. https://t.co/Tg3Jjpdkp6

— Senator Patty Murray (@PattyMurray) July 13, 2026

7.

When he says “we’re gonna get paid” he literally means him and his family are going to get paid.

— Mike George (@MichaelGeo2213) July 13, 2026

8.

“We will build a wall and Mexico will pay for it” but Middle Eastern. https://t.co/LK5DxDYtuS

— Brian Tyler Cohen (@briantylercohen) July 13, 2026