25 of the funniest posts we’ve seen on Bluesky this week
13.
I feel an irresistible urge to hug anyone who drops me off at the airport, which is why I'm not allowed to take Uber anymore
14.
Cashier at the pharmacy said I looked "radiant". Or possibly "rodent". Difficult to hear because she was attacking me with a broom
— mindflakes (@mindflakes.bsky.social) 13 July 2026 at 15:46
15.
“Every little thing she does is magic”
Just imagine how annoying that would be.
“Shit – I’ve cut my finger. Could you pass me a plaster please?”
"Pick a card, any card"
— Jason (@nickmotown.bsky.social) 14 July 2026 at 07:49
16.
Solid, liquid, gas, plasma, non-Newtonian fluid.
— Nick Pettigrew (@nick-pettigrew.bsky.social) 14 July 2026 at 17:01
17.
LANDLORD: sorry I don’t allow pets
ME: *takes my hand off of his head* fine
— Swim Jeans 👖 (@shortsleevesuit.bsky.social) 11 July 2026 at 16:37
18.
at the Dyson service center and this dog just realized it's in Dog Hell
— captain bleach (@blainecapatch.bsky.social) 10 July 2026 at 01:05
19.
nothing could ever ruin the immense thrill and wonder of seeing tolkien's lord of the rings trilogy brought to life on the big screen by peter jackson like seeing tolkien's the hobbit brought to life on the big screen by peter jackson
— Frances Meh (@francesmeh.reviews) 13 July 2026 at 22:22
20.
age is just a number
that tells you when you're old— I'mWintersMom (@imwintersmom.bsky.social) 11 July 2026 at 01:53
21.
Some good career news! Christopher Nolan has hired me to personally write “dad” in every copy of The Odyssey, including the one in your house. I’ve already done it. Audiobooks and digital versions, too. I also gave Scylla they/them pronouns in early medieval handwritten copies
— Mike Drucker (@mikedrucker.bsky.social) 11 July 2026 at 18:08
22.
My new Ozempic dishes have arrived.
— Gen Existential Crisis (@ru12bseen.com) 11 July 2026 at 16:25
23.
— Wil Eelsing (@wileelsing.bsky.social) 11 July 2026 at 09:27
24.
If I had a time machine, I’d go back in time and get Shakespeare to write something to be discovered in the 21st century, but when it does get discovered it’s the lyrics to the Minder theme tune and everybody’s mind is fucked.
— Glennyrodge (@glennyrodge.bsky.social) 11 July 2026 at 09:35
25.
We‘re one executive order away from a chocolate fountain.
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25 of the funniest posts we’ve seen on Bluesky this week
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