This especially ‘trad-wife’ list of places to find your ‘dream girl’ got all the responses it deserved and more
There might be one or two things Twitter is still good for – give us a minute – but dating advice is definitely not one of them.
But that didn’t stop someone who calls themselves Pacific Spirit offering up some unsolicited dating advice a little while back, and it’s fair to say it had a distinctly ‘trad wife’ feel about it (and if, like us, you weren’t overly familiar with the world of the trad wife, this Guardian column is a proper eye opener).
Men, your dream girl isn’t on dating apps or at a nightclub, she’s:
~ At church
~ At the farmer’s market
~ In the library
~ In a bookstore
~ Sipping a whole milk latte in a cute cafe
~ Baking sweet treats for loved ones
~ Spending time in nature pic.twitter.com/CUXGuE2ijB— (@crunchycozygirl) July 24, 2024
They forgot to add ‘in Stepford’, clearly.
And we mention it not because it might improve anyone’s life, obviously, but because it prompted a tsunami of mockery and it was an absolute delight to behold.
People weren’t having any of it, and the mockery came thick and fast.
1.
Men, your dream girl isn’t on dating apps or at a nightclub, she’s:
~ At the cattle market
~ Running for election to the executive council of the Bovine Farmers’ Union
~ Buying bull semen online
~ Shoulder-deep in a pregnant belted galloway
~ Dealing with a bovine TB outbreak https://t.co/d4DBubDtNb— Beef & Dairy Network (@beefanddairy) July 30, 2024
2.
Men, your dream girl isn’t on dating apps or at a nightclub, she’s:
~at Little Caesars Arena
~with an octopus in a ziploc bag taped to her chest
~waiting for a good goal
~trying to calculate trajectory
~making sure nobody in her section is a fucking snitch https://t.co/ATOKQIlHVi— rickie ⚓️ (@ageoflead) July 30, 2024
3.
Lads don’t go approaching random girls when they’re out and about at the above places. It’s creepy as fuck.
— Stooo (@Disco_Stooo_) July 25, 2024
4.
Men, your dream girl isn’t on dating apps or at a nightclub, she’s:
~ at the cemetery visiting Carlotta Valdes’s grave
~ in the museum gazing at a portrait of Carlotta Valdes
~ in the McKittrick Hotel under the name Carlotta Valdes
~ jumping into San Francisco Bay https://t.co/28CXNF0boU— William Gerrard (@ƒsaga_Gerrard) July 29, 2024
5.
Girls can’t even go and pray without men bothering them https://t.co/hJLOLMsIlm
— Grace (@graceyldn) July 25, 2024
6.
*she’s posing for photos at the farmers market. All the people who just wanted lettuce had to wait 10 minutes for her to get the right shot.
— Emily St. Martin (@ByEmilyStMartin) July 27, 2024
7.
the girl of your dreams is posting veep pictures to song lyrics https://t.co/2Cs6H1gMeN
— disgraced congressman (@m3333g4n) July 29, 2024
8.
Blahahahaha
this is what happens when you get your game from watching Hollywood movies
there may only be 5 couples in the world under the age of 40 who met in a library, and that was bc they worked there
stop imagining how you think things work and step into reality
— An Angel of Vengeance (@angeldevenganza) July 25, 2024
9.
Men, your dream girl isn’t on dating apps or at a nightclub, she’s:
~ At the hotel
~ Motel
~ Holiday Inn https://t.co/tNs8t8H1FR— kate ✨ (@pulpy_fiction) July 27, 2024
10.
My dream girl is def shitposting on twitter https://t.co/lAtJqZFiv0
— Alek (@AlekJ14) July 25, 2024
11.
Men, your dream girl isn’t on dating apps or at a nightclub, she’s:
~In knee-deep mud at the sewage ponds
~Off shore photographing storm-petrels
~In the Gull Identification discord server
~On a boardwalk at a saltmarsh
~Learning fall warbler plumage
~Owling in the woods at 3 AM— Steven Kurniawidjaja (@NeonTetraploid) July 28, 2024
12.
Men, your dream girl isn’t on dating apps or at a nightclub, she’s:
—in a basement
—sleeping in grave dirt from her homeland
—chilling in mist form
—overthrowing the patriarchy
—drinking boxed wine
—watching a show about cryptids
—eating cereal out of the skulls of her enemies https://t.co/PmD7TkX8c4— Barlow Adams (@BarlowAdams) July 27, 2024
13.
Have you idiots met the types of young ladies who eschew dating apps and nightlife, go regularly to the farmer’s market and the bookstore, sip lattes in cute cafes, bake sweet treats for loved ones, and spend time in nature? Men, your dream girl is a gay communist https://t.co/xVbv7mQztr
— charlie (@baranskocracy) July 27, 2024
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Image Pacific Spirit,