‘What’s the most ridiculous injury you’ve ever inflicted on yourself?’ – 23 people who honestly shouldn’t be allowed out

Getting injured is never fun, but the pain is amplified a thousand fold when you add to it the humiliation of having caused said injury yourself.

They’ve been discussing the ways in which people have come a cropper due to their own foolishness on the AskUK subreddit after user Wonk_Majik shared their own experience…

‘What’s the most ridiculous injury you’ve ever inflicted on yourself?

‘I just used a Sudafed sinus relief spray, my fnger tips somehow slipped off the end of the pump bit causing it to ricochet up my nose which proceeded to piss with blood. Now my sinus feels really fucked.’

Definitely ridiculous, but hopefully they were comforted by the multiple people who chipped in with their own silly tales, like these…

1.

‘As a teenager, I once ate two whole boxes of Sula ‘sweets’ not knowing they were known for their laxative qualities.

‘The inevitable unfolded and in my spent state I reached for what I thought were Andrex wet wipes, only they weren’t – they were Flash wipes (with bleach). I nearly leapt nine feet into the air. My hole was glowing like a bus brake light. So that.’
–Radiants_Table

2.

‘I blended my finger. I was blending up some veg with a hand blender Then I used my finger to wipe some of the food out… and I used my other hand to turn it on at the same time.

‘I have absolutely no explanation other than I had a 6 month old baby who barely slept and I was very tired.’
–Snoo_said_no

3.

‘My most recent trip to A&E starts with the words: you know those mandolin slicers…’
–Laxly

4.

‘I broke my nose by kneeing myself in the face, attempting a back flip on a bouncy castle at a child’s birthday party. I was 32 at the time, all the kids ran off screaming at the pool of blood forming on the castle.’
–Material_Page_9723

5.

‘Managed to knock a bottle over while cooking. So of course I let go of the knife I was holding to try and catch it. The knife landed in my foot.’
–ppppanda

6.

‘Bust my nose in a hotel once trying to pull a duvet out that had been tucked in way too tightly after getting into bed. Hand just slipped off the top as I was pulling to loosen it off to get a bit more room, so I ended up effectively punching myself in the face.’
–Ill-Confusion-1844

7.

‘When I was a toddler I fell off a football and broke my leg. When my parents told that story at the hospital they were interviewed by social services in separate rooms!’
–Paladin2019

8.

‘I was doing that whip/crack thing with a tea towel and was trying different ways to get a nice crack sound with it but for some reason I managed to crack myself in the eye with the tip of the towel. Blurry vision for hours. And now I look at my lazy eye and wonder if I did it or was born with it.’
–No-Communication2985

9.

‘I broke my ankle running down the stairs because I needed to call for an ambulance as my friend had a seizure.

He was fine thankfully.’
–MakingMxTakes

10.

‘Stretched “wrong” and pulled a muscle in my back so badly I couldn’t move, and I immediately burst into tears. It didn’t resolve for over a month.

That or the time I broke my leg on a bouncy castle, your pick.’
–FREESHAVOCADO0

11.

‘Cut my little finger to the bone while slicing a tomato, saw my finger was in the way but didn’t really register. Shook my hand like I had trapped it and got blood everywhere, all over me, the wall and the ceiling! Tip of my finger is still numb over 20 years later.’
–Slight_Swordfish3812

12.

‘Got excited that a new episode of Doctor Who was starting, ran into the living room, caught my door on a chair and broke my toe. I was about 25 at the time (in my defence, it was the Tennant era).’
–mostlysoberfornow