A cycling vegan coffee-snob asked the internet how they could become ‘even more insufferable’ – 23 ways to be an uber-irritating person

There’s a selection of lifestyles and enthusiasms which people adopt in the 21st century that have become shorthand for ‘deeply, desperately annoying’.

There are plenty of them, and a user named BarnacleExpressor, who embodies quite a few, showed a laudable level of self-awareness when they took to the AskUK subreddit to post this…

How can I become even more insufferable?

I’ve been thinking about how I tick a lot of the boxes that really grind the gears of your average Brit, I’m vegan, I cycle, I have a moustache, I am a coffee snob with an aeropress just for a few examples. How can I boost my annoying factor?

Bonus points for sharing what makes you insufferable, do you microwave fish at work? Are you into Hyrox?

Self-awareness or epic-level trolling of those lacking in tolerance? It’s hard to say, but people were tripping over their Crocs ‘n’ socks to chip in with the ways in which they could be even more irritating, like these…

1.

‘Get a dog and pretend it’s the equivalent of having a human baby.’
–royals796

2.

‘The dog has to come everywhere with me, all the time, and the world has to accommodate it.

Hate these people.’
–liamrich93

3.

‘Dog needs its own Instagram account too.’
–VehicleFancy6858

4.

‘Become super educated and correct everyone all the time.

Alternatively be super uneducated and correct people all the time.’
–Theory_99

5.

‘Toe shoes. Become a “barefoot warrior”.

Then become a runner.’
–coffeexcoffeex91

6.

‘You could get into craft beer, or cancel all your TV subscriptions and just start reading in a performative manner.’
–BennyHudson10

7.

‘It’s actually not performative. I’m reading Dostoevsky in public in the original Russian because I find that’s the best way to engage with the text. And before you ask, no, I don’t speak Russian.’
–royals796

8.

‘Have you thought about visiting Japan and telling everybody about it before and after? That worked for me.’
–wfarka

9.

‘You cycle, fine. But do you … unicycle?

Failing that, try cycling everywhere on a penny farthing. Bowler hat for protection.’
–LittleSadRufus

10.

‘Are you a foodie? You eat food like everyone else, but enjoy it more?’
–Prestigious-Soup7485

11.

‘Post your Strava activities to social media?’
–Subject_Ad1286

12.

‘You need to only listen to music on vinyl (or at the very least have a decent collection to bring up regularly). If you also source your beer from microbreweries, extra points.

I’ve found making my own bread and soup to be remarkably annoying for my coworker, who has three kids and no such time to dally.’
–Commercial-Pear-543