This has to be the most smug and cringeworthy school advert of all time
What do parents look for when choosing a school? Is it good exam results? A caring and supportive ethos? Perhaps it’s excellence in a specialism, such as sport, science or the arts …or perhaps it’s that the headteacher drives a really nice car. Wait, what?
In case that’s not clear –
“The Volvo Estate – your Dad’s pride and joy – suddenly swung left into a long drive.
You saw “Open Day” signs and your eyes widened.
You pointed to the beautiful dark blue Jaguar parked by a sign saying “Headmaster’s Parking”.
You said you wished your Dad had one.
Your Dad looked wistful, the Volvo had to do a few years yet.
You did well at Vinehall and have fond memories.
You were very successful in business.
You bought your Dad a Jaguar when he retired.
You think every child should go along to the Open Days.
Maybe they will buy their Dad a Jaguar one day too.”
Twitter user @tommo_tv wasn’t impressed by the advert’s attitude.
High five to Vinehall School for the most cringeworthy school ad I'm ever likely to see.
'Your mug of a dad drives a Volvo *smug muttering*… but our head drives a Jaaaaag. You might buy your pathetic Dad a Jaaag one day… come to our school"
Truly Weird.@VinehallSchool pic.twitter.com/rHaKOh1NSU— Tom (@tommo_tv) September 7, 2018
We can’t argue with his assessment, and neither could anybody who saw his tweet.
Tory? education brochure courtesy of @VinehallSchool
What a low aspiration for kids. Nothing about their humanity. Zero about ethics. Using material goods to put a value on a child's worth. https://t.co/nRjAWqQ2D9— MSM Watchdog (@MSMWatchdog2013) September 10, 2018
“The Volvo had to do for a few years yet” . . . yeah, because of nearly £8k per term in sodding school fees!
— Andy Hort ❄️️ (@DevonKiwi) September 9, 2018
When you see normal schools struggling for equipment, tax avoiding ‘charities’ boasting their headmasters drive jags. What are they teaching kids? Status symbols?
How do you want to get along in life wee man?
.. Daddy drives a Jag. Give me a job.— Si (@SiDick77) September 9, 2018
Nice values, @VinehallSchool. Still, at least you have the decency to be up front about them. You might consider sacking your PR, though.
— Michael Merrifield (@AstroMikeMerri) September 9, 2018
So the height of success is a Jag. Ffs.
I’d never send a child to this school. Completely devoid of a moral compass.— Mark #FBPE (@maltravers2011) September 9, 2018
The substance of the advert didn’t escape criticism, either.
Cringe. Not only awfully conceived but hideously written. Surely no copywriter involved here. Just someone who went to public school and now teaches at one.
— NickScribbler (@NickScribbler) September 9, 2018
Writer and broadcaster, Dr Matthew Sweet, thought he recognised the style.
Original opening paragraph of American Psycho discovered. https://t.co/TTx6z2gtFk
— Matthew Sweet (@DrMatthewSweet) September 9, 2018
Someone called @wordsinspireuk made a sad observation.
Hideous as it is to anyone with a half-decent set of values, perhaps they simply know their target audience…
— Words Inspire (@wordsinspireuk) September 9, 2018
The school has yet to respond to the criticism. Probably too busy polishing the headteacher’s Jaguar.
H/T @tommo_tv