Our 25 favourite funny things for this week
It’s a brand new year and we’re all emerging blinking into the light from the hazy excesses of the festive season, unless you work in one of the many jobs that doesn’t get time off for Christmas, in which case – oh, mate.
Whatever year it is, funny people can’t help but be funny, and we’ve gathered some of their best efforts from the last week (and a bit longer). We hope you enjoy these as much as we did.
1.
we don’t talk about the fact that c3po essentially wears a crop top nearly enough as we should pic.twitter.com/pwbNdyZ3iZ
— Emma Bolden (@emmabo) January 1, 2020
2.
So pissed at whoever smoked pot in my mom’s garage. She just smelled it and flipped out. Not funny!!!! Told her if I catch them around here again I’ll beat their ass. Who would do this on Christmas Eve of all days??? Don’t worry, mom, I’m on the case.
— Samantha Ruddy (@samlymatters) December 24, 2019
3.
Seems nice doesn’t it? Until you realise it’s for Nazi war criminal Rudolph Hess. pic.twitter.com/dX43KlQMXY
— Bethany Black (@BeffernieBlack) December 24, 2019
4.
Great to be back at my parents, but still no idea where Mum got this duvet cover from! Feeling sexy though 😜#duvetknowitschristmas @rhodri pic.twitter.com/m7AgMhFZrp
— Simon Smith (@Vauncey) December 24, 2019
5.
What, like it's hard? pic.twitter.com/HGUCIQtusU
— Holly 'self-partnered' Brockwell (@holly) January 1, 2020
6.
brain: hey
me: i’m sleeping
brain: it’s important
me:
brain: now this is a story all about how
me: don’t
brain: my life got flipped turned upside down & i’d like to take a minute just sit right there
me: i’ll tell you how i became the prince of a town called bel air
— Laurazepam (@andlikelaura) December 30, 2019
7.
The Great British Bake Off
The Great British Sewing Bee
The Great British Pottery Throwdown
The Great British Tutting In A Queue
The Great British That Tea Is Too Milky
The Great British Pissed Off The Neighbour Hasn't Taken Their Bin In Even Though It Was Emptied 5 Days Ago— joe heenan (@joeheenan) January 2, 2020
8.
Since school, I can only think of about 2 occasions when I had my pyjamas on and had to dive into water for a brick
— Craig Deeley 🇪🇺🏳️🌈 (@craiguito) January 1, 2020
9.
1 supermarket shopping
2 wearing the coat I wore to the visa renewal
3 it has about 25+ passport photos in it over a 4 year period
4 in the same pocket as my shopping list
5 which I dropped
6 I'm now picking up 25+ photos of myself off the floor next to the sex lube rack— Chris Boyd 🇬🇧🇵🇭 (@paperghost) December 24, 2019
10.
My 5 year old just asked what the blonde princess’s name was from Frozen & I went completely blank.
Long story short, he’s calling his toy Linda.
— Kelly (@kelly__le) December 29, 2019
11.
Autocorrect just changed Jesus Christ to Jesus Heist and now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to go off to write the biggest movie of 2021.
— Chris Hewitt (@ChrisHewitt) December 22, 2019
12.
At my parents for Christmas Dinner today. My mum had placed knitted Christmas puddings at each place setting.
Inside these puddings is a single chocolate and my dad says
"Judy, you're really spoiling us with this Ferrero Crochet"
— Joanna (#reclaimmyname) (@MsJamandPickle) December 28, 2019
