Man Nearing Bottom Of Crisp Packet Contemplating Next Move

Decision News: A man who has nearly finished a large ‘sharing’ size packet of lightly salted Kettle Chips is now contemplating his exact next move.

Gary Thompson, 24, has been lying on the sofa slowly eating crisps for the last ten minutes, and is now worried that the completion of this task may force him to undertake another, possibly less enjoyable, job.

 “One option is that I could get up and put the empty packet in the bin,” said Thompson’s mind. “But I’m sure I haven’t seen this episode of Come Dine With Me before and I don’t want to miss the bit when she lies about making her own gravy.”

“But putting it in the bin would make me feel slightly less disgusted with myself. It’s a really tough choice.”

Other options Thompson says he’s actively contemplating involve hiding the empty crisp packet behind the sofa, or wishing he had a dog that he’d trained to take litter from the lounge to the kitchen.

“There are so many directions my life could take right now,” said Thompson’s brain as he pushed the last few remaining crisps into his mouth. “I hope none of them involve me standing up.”