This joke about two church visitors was made even better by the person who didn’t get it

John Plunkett. Updated September 5th, 2018

The great Sir Michael on Twitter does a lovely line in fake notices and messages, that kind of stuff, and here is his latest one.

GREAT day at church! Saw a young couple attending for the 1st time so I did the decent thing – pretended to be doing a survey, got their names & ran a background check. Turns out they're unmarried but living together so I ordered them to leave. Another step towards heaven for me!

— Sir Michael (@Michael1979) September 2, 2018

Which we liked, but we loved it when he highlighted this.

Making friends online every single Sunday pic.twitter.com/aCHWCL7es0

— Sir Michael (@Michael1979) September 3, 2018

And just in cast that’s tricky to read …

Damn why people lose the meaning of Jesus's preachings? Why dont u accept each other? Do u think those who engage in a romantic sexual relationship & visit the church regularly commit a greater sin than someone whos plotting to expel them out of the church?

— StarGrek (@_Star_Grek_) September 3, 2018

I know you mean well but I have read almost the majority of the bible and I am pretty sure Jesus wanted me to eject that couple from the church. If he hadn't wanted me to do it, surely he wouldn't have given me the ability to run a background check on them?

— Sir Michael (@Michael1979) September 3, 2018

These people love each other and they were living together as a family. And they wanted to find peace in God's house. Maybe they were planning to get married soon after. Was their sin/crime worthy to be expelled from it?

— StarGrek (@_Star_Grek_) September 3, 2018

Yes, it definitely was. Also, they might have been fornic*ting before marriage too (I wasn't able to verify that on the background check) so it was best that I didn't take any chances.

— Sir Michael (@Michael1979) September 3, 2018

Let’s hope that cleared it up for them.

I actually went searching through the replies this time, looking for something like this. Thank you for posting it to make my life easier

— Tom (@tomreeve89) September 3, 2018

Happy to help. I will try to provide this important service each week.

— Sir Michael (@Michael1979) September 3, 2018

It’s almost as good as the time he tried to give away a free guitar.

Making friends in my local community pic.twitter.com/YEUrMqMnAv

— Sir Michael (@Michael1979) June 20, 2018

Truly a religious experience.

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