25 funny things we’ve seen to set the weekend up nicely

13.

Shower gels aimed at men are always rank. Fuck my masculinity I wanna leave the shower smellin like vanilla and rhubarb not burnt wood and casual racism

— lou (@lou_tredaway) September 10, 2018

14.

ME: I did it. I finally did it.
HER: OMG you found a job??
ME: What? No. I stopped searching twitter so I could take a nap.

— Andrew Nadeau (@TheAndrewNadeau) September 12, 2018

15.

That's one shocker of a typo, Google Maps pic.twitter.com/pYRX0P7iKt

— Alistair Coleman (@alistaircoleman) September 12, 2018

16.

OK so the Crystal Maze is fun but have you ever heard your three-year-old shout “I need a poo!” from the top of a multi-storey soft play?

— Tom Hamilton (@thhamilton) September 13, 2018

17.

OMG I opened the door to let the dog in and there was a slug on the door AND IT GOT ON MY HAND SO I SCREAMED LIKE A TODDLER AND THE DOG ATE IT TO PROTECT ME. And now we are both embarrassed.

— Cat Herder (@echo262) September 12, 2018

18.

Colleague: You can't put ham with chicken
Me: What are you, the… pic.twitter.com/fZSvUuqD9g

— Ciara Knight (@Ciara_Knight) September 13, 2018

19.

https://twitter.com/Sara_Rose_G/status/1040176844195221504

20.

Twitter 2009.

I like apples.
I like pears.
That’s cool.
Yeah.

Twitter 2018.

I like apples.
So you’re anti pears then.
No, I just prefer apples.
So you hate pears.
I never said that.
Fucking pear hater.
I don’t hate pears!
Yes you do. You make me sick. Scum.

— Amanda (@Pandamoanimum) September 13, 2018

21.

https://twitter.com/catstronomical/status/1039662234480386049

22.

Irving Berlin’s reputation in tatters as researchers discover 4 businesses like showbusiness.

— John-Luke Roberts (@jlukeroberts) September 12, 2018

23.

“Don’t worry, Dave, the ambulance will be here soon.” pic.twitter.com/m5xY7D9SM1

— Ian Power (@IHPower) September 13, 2018

24.

https://twitter.com/cjdemooi/status/1039923077654691840

25.

https://twitter.com/Home_Halfway/status/1040392544243396610

If that doesn’t brighten your day, nothing will. Feel free to tell us the ones we missed.