These 21 people shared the weirdest school visitor they ever had and we wonder what their teachers were thinking
School visitors used to be a highlight of the term – especially if it meant getting out of P.E. or Maths. But not every school visit made sense to us at the time, and some of them make even less sense as we look back at them. When voice artist and writer, Summer Ray, asked Twitter about their school visit experiences, she unleashed some fairly traumatic memories.
This is the tweet that started it all off.
What’s the most random/strangest/memorable visitor that ever came to your school? We had an eccentric poet who just burst through the classroom and screamed “OOMPA OOMPA STICK IT UP YOUR JOOMPA” over and over while skipping around the classroom
— Summer Ray (@SummerRay) November 16, 2018
These 21 were just too weird and/or funny not to share.
1.
I promise that this is absolutely true
Our school ran a charity event to raise monies for a lad with dwarfism so he could have an op on his legs
Somehow, Geoff Capes got involved in a sponsored walk which he proceeded to undertake with the lad in a dustbin strapped to his back
— Steven Gill (@HeresGilly) November 17, 2018
2.
At primary school, a bloke who worked for the police described in ponderous, grisly detail the discovery after a murder of various dismembered body parts – arms, torsos, etc. I fainted, obviously.
— Max Tundra (@MaxTundra) November 17, 2018
3.
Sylvester McCoy came to my school… Honestly can’t remember why. I don’t even think there was a reason other than like, “Dr Who is here!”.
He said I looked really young so drew a moustache on my face.
Crazy days man. pic.twitter.com/ZQi7dFemLQ
— Martin Shaw (@BhunaBhuna) November 17, 2018
4.
Some bloke from Vodafone came in with 3 owls and a ‘portable telephone’ the size of a briefcase. The owls flew around the school hall a bit. One was called Voda and I never remember if the company was named after the owl or vice versa.
— She (@vikatoyah) November 16, 2018
5.
That would be the man who had a student sit on a stool with his eyes closed, then dance around him making dramatic arm motions to massage his aura. https://t.co/ZXm0P1i9t8
— Myles Schaller (@TheThirdPolice) November 18, 2018
6.
The elderly children's author who told us all he had a deep fat fryer just big enough to fit a child into, at an age when a sizeable portion of the class was just a little too young to understand it as a joke. https://t.co/3A7HhoEO0A
— Pádraig Durnin (@padraigfd) November 18, 2018
7.
The school invited a pickpocket, who demonstrated how to pick someone's pocket, and then sold us on pickpocketing as a career choice. "He said he was a magician," a teacher later assured us. https://t.co/sjPwcq3czA
— Lowkey Hiatus (@jamescomins) November 18, 2018
8.
We had a group of bodybuilders acting as a weird mix of "moral instruction" and "motivational speaker" (I guess) in 7th or 8th grade.
They ran around the auditorium & said that everyone thinks my generation is hopeless failures before ripping some phone books in half. #WeirdFlex https://t.co/Ot54iPuxlG
— PerpetualDumbMachine (@blakewrites) November 17, 2018
9.
I definitely remember some kind of talk in school happening where a guy was talking about shoving a pencil up someone's ass and yelling "Dixon Ticonderoga!" I can't remember the context… @kateatomic @patchshifter https://t.co/FeNtP4yQdt
— Tara O'Connor (@TaraOComics) November 18, 2018
10.
A woman who came in to promote tampons, saying that if we wore pads men would feel them if they touched us on the bottom. Even then I was enraged
— Elly-Mae Gadsby (@EGadsby) November 17, 2018
11.
We got Toma. A former cop who yelled at kids to not do drugs by telling the story of druggies putting a baby in the oven. https://t.co/c6KEVIlP1w
— Meerkats Like Turtles (@MeerkatsRMammal) November 18, 2018
