The 25 funniest things we saw this week
13.
https://twitter.com/NickMotown/status/1131140821301043200
14.
15.
Wife: *signing divorce papers*
I’m sorry I ever married youMe: Apology accepted
— octopus/caveman (@octopuscaveman) May 20, 2019
16.
me: *tries to open it with my teeth*
him: just double click the file
— jo (@whatsJo) May 21, 2019
17.
Me: My car keeps making this weird, annoying, clunky pop type sound
Mechanic: Hmm, have you tried turning off imagine dragons?
— Abam (@AdamBroud) May 22, 2019
18.
Holly Hunter has done a really great job– you rarely see any Hollys around anymore
— Steven W Skinner (@SkinnerSteven) May 21, 2019
19.
Me, in porn:
Half naked female tennant: "I can't afford my rent this month…"
Me: "I'm sure we can come to some…. arrangement…"
*porn music starts*
*spends 45 minutes working through a comprehensive yet affordable budget plan*
*porn music fades*
— Князь Мышкин (@MyshkinFool) May 22, 2019
20.
I’ve lived in London long enough now to realise that on the Underground “No Entry” roughly translates as “Really Good Shortcut”
— Edd Campbell Bird (@edd_bird) May 21, 2019
21.
Sorry but if you refer to women as "females" I'm just going to naturally assume you have a collection of severed heads in your fridge
— katie spalding (@supermathskid) May 22, 2019
22.
https://twitter.com/41Strange/status/1131403481502273536
23.
https://twitter.com/paulsinha/status/1130398576087973888
24.
Prequel to Grease announced, with storyline set many years earlier, when the characters were in their thirties.
— News With Jokes (@newswithjokes) April 11, 2019
25.
Pretty soon they're going to run a background check on you if you're buying a milkshake
— Karl Sharro (@KarlreMarks) May 20, 2019