Keep your sense of humour intact with these 16 general election jokes
There’s one week left until the UK goes to the polls – this is not a drill – repeat, one week left.
After yet another week of dubious figures quoting even more dubious figures and the party refusing to release a report into whether Russia interfered in elections accusing Labour of colluding with Russia to produce evidence of the Tories colluding with the US, people are getting election fatigue.
These people, however, have embraced the chaos to create 16 funny takes on the whole shitshow.
1.
Boris Johnson's response to his past comments about Islam as being "heartless": "My great-grandfather knew the Koran off by heart".
My great-grandfather made shoes but the idea I could make a pair is just cobblers. #Marr— Jane Merrick (@janemerrick23) December 1, 2019
2.
Lucky old Boris Johnson. If he’d talked twaddle about the Queen’s speech, the papers would have crucified him. Thank goodness he only suspended Parliament unlawfully after sending Rees Mogg to mislead the Queen. Cripes!
— James O'Brien (@mrjamesob) December 5, 2019
3.
The labour policy to give £58 billion back to pensioners is unrealistic. 58 billion pound coins would weigh over 500 million kilograms, which would crush the average 65 year old woman
— Crazed Communist Crow (@quendergeer) November 28, 2019
4.
Change the word ‘majority’ to ‘blowjob’ and we’re probably nearer the truth. pic.twitter.com/mvlZnBunEC
— Robin Flavell (@RobinFlavell) December 1, 2019
5.
So, Britain. Which aspect of the Conservatives trolling you, avoiding scrutiny, lying to you, and treating you with utter contempt do you find to be the most electorally attractive?
— Stephen McGann (@StephenMcGann) November 28, 2019
6.
The Conservative manifesto seems great – makes me wish we'd got this lot in power years ago.
— Ayn Randy (@ItsAndyRyan) December 2, 2019
7.
“There’s no money to deradicalise terrorists” says government that spent £100 million on ad campaign for Brexit that never happened.
— Have I Got News For You (@haveigotnews) December 2, 2019
8.
BREAKING: Boris Johnson claims NHS cuts 'all the fault' of 1945 Labour Government.
— Tripe Marketing Board (@TripeUK) December 1, 2019
