The 25 funniest things from this week
13.
It’s a Sandals cruise https://t.co/p1E6TPsdeO
— Nooruddean (@BeardedGenius) February 20, 2020
14.
Kiddo just shouted at me to “put a goddamn bra on!” So I don’t think the daughter-bonding-at-trampoline-park is going as well as planned.
— Lovely Potatoes (@robin_991) February 16, 2020
15.
you: trauma
me, an intellectual: pic.twitter.com/8fpk3CDrzy— stef schwartz (@stefschwartz) February 16, 2020
16.
NUN SHITE. pic.twitter.com/xgaX8u346I
— Crouching Tiger, Lying Dog-faced Pony Soldier (@misslucyp) February 14, 2020
17.
just got called mean for saying the day my daughter was born was not the best day of my life. for comparison, today my daughter woke, said ‘love you’ then watched tv for 2 hours. my vagina isn’t bleeding & i’m not scared of imminent death. yes, today is a better day for me.
— Hollie McNish (@holliepoetry) February 20, 2020
18.
When you become a parent you give little thought to the tough days ahead, to the awful days that will test you to the very limit, days when you have to feign interest for an entire 45min car journey in your 13yo’s breathless account of a Tik Tok dispute over who invented a dance
— tom jamieson (@jamiesont) February 19, 2020
19.
Calm down IKEA pic.twitter.com/Ltjx9X692t
— Trudi (@Trudski2012) February 20, 2020
20.
Imaging that meeting!
Coke Fueled Marketing Exec: We need words on that packaging!!
“Words?”
Marketing Exec: ANY WORDS!
All The Others [foaming at the mouth]: Fuck YEAH! pic.twitter.com/CnsDGacerl— Jeffw (@Jeffwni) February 17, 2020
21.
Scientists recently placed a 10-piece set of matching Tupperware in a sealed chamber.
When they opened it a month later, the chamber had 24 lids that did not match any of the 6 remaining containers.
— Axis II of Evil (@joannathemad89) February 19, 2020
22.
It’s impossible to understand the true nature of pain until you’ve looked into the eyes of a teenage boy working in Monsoon.
— Sarah Dempster (@Dempster2000) February 14, 2020
23.
morpheus: take the blue pill AND the red pill and i'll show you how deep the rabbit hole goes
me: they both taste exactly the same
morpheus: *waving skittles packet* RIGHT?
me: OH MY GOD
— red regenerated (@surrealvehicle) February 20, 2020
24.
Guy at work has just said to me ‘smile love, it might never happen’ so now I’m DMing his dad just to prove him wrong
— Cat Rosé (@WinningByARose) February 19, 2020
25.
You know your hungover when Face ID doesn’t recognise your face.
— Jack Whitehall (@jackwhitehall) February 19, 2020
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25 favourite funny things from the week
Source Twitter Image Ivor Baddiel, @relentlessjpg on Unsplash
