Simply 27 brilliantly groansome dad jokes to take the edge off

14.

"Dad, can you tell me what a solar eclipse is?"

No sun.

— Dad Jokes (@Dadsaysjokes) November 7, 2019

15.

Due to the quarantine…

I’ll only be telling inside jokes.

— Dad Jokes (@Dadsaysjokes) March 19, 2020

16.

I am giving up drinking for a month.

Sorry that came out wrong.

I am giving up. Drinking for a month.

— Dad Jokes (@Dadsaysjokes) December 19, 2019

17.

I tried to make a coronavirus joke a while back.

Nobody laughed at the time, but eventually everyone got it.

— Dad Jokes (@Dadsaysjokes) March 17, 2020

18.

Stephen King has a son named Joe.

I’m not joking, but he is.

— Dad Jokes (@Dadsaysjokes) February 6, 2020

19.

I ordered a chicken and an egg on Amazon.

I’ll let you know.

— Dad Jokes (@Dadsaysjokes) April 6, 2019

20.

https://twitter.com/Dadsaysjokes/status/1093123668576821248?s=20

21.

I accidentally rubbed ketchup in my eyes.

Now I have Heinzsight.

— Dad Jokes (@Dadsaysjokes) November 29, 2019

22.

How much space will Brexit free up in the European Union?

1 GB.

— Dad Jokes (@Dadsaysjokes) January 30, 2020

23.

A pessimist sees a dark tunnel.

An optimist sees light at the end of the tunnel.

A realist sees a freight train.

The train driver sees three idiots standing on the track.

— Dad Jokes (@Dadsaysjokes) October 21, 2019

24.

I went into a pet shop and asked for twelve bees. The shopkeeper counted out thirteen and handed them over.

“You’ve given me one too many.”

“That one is a freebie.”

— Dad Jokes (@Dadsaysjokes) July 30, 2019

25.

Her: What do you do?

Me: I race cars.

Her: Do you win many races?

Me: No, the cars are much faster.

— Dad Jokes (@Dadsaysjokes) November 11, 2019

26.

A wife asks her husband, "Could you please go shopping for me and buy one carton of milk and if they have avocados, get 6.

A short time later the husband comes back with 6 cartons of milk.

The wife asks: “Why did you buy 6 cartons of milk?”

He said: “They had avocados.”

— Dad Jokes (@Dadsaysjokes) August 2, 2019

27.

Bro, can you pass me that pamphlet?

Brochure.

— Dad Jokes (@Dadsaysjokes) February 7, 2020

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They’ve even got a whole book of ’em!

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