Simply 23 jokes about Boris Johnson’s confusing new Covid-19 rules to help take the edge off
There’s a lot of confusion right now about exactly what we’re supposed (and allowed) to be doing to help stop the spread of Covid-19 and we’re not entirely sure Boris Johnson is going to do a great deal to clear it up later today.
It’s made for another grim start to another grim week which prompted no end of concern and confusion on Twitter. Fortunately for everyone involved, it prompted lots of funny tweets as well, of which these 23 are among the best.
Hopefully they’ll help take the edge off a little bit.
1.
It couldn't really be simpler. You can meet up with girls who are boys, who like boys to be girls, who do boys like they're girls, who do girls like they're boys, always should be someone you really love. And always stay two metres apart.
— Richard Osman (@richardosman) May 11, 2020
2.
How does a man with 8-10 kids not think to mention when we might be able to start seeing our families again
— James Felton (@JimMFelton) May 10, 2020
3.
https://twitter.com/tompeck/status/1259485492531408896?s=20
4.
Guys remember to stay alert. I was just out for a walk and saw a piece of virus coming towards me, but because I was being alert I managed to dive out of the way
— Ed Gamble (@EdGambleComedy) May 10, 2020
5.
Clarification: You can meet ONE person from outside your household in a MULTI-STOREY CAR PARK so long as ONE of you is wearing a TRENCH COAT and the headlights of your car are on HIGH BEAM to protect your identity.
— @[email protected] (@mrchrisaddison) May 11, 2020
6.
I was out for a walk & saw the Coronavirus heading towards me but thanks to the new government advice of staying alert I hid behind a tree & it totally missed me.
Thanks Boris— joe heenan (@joeheenan) May 10, 2020
7.
Boris Johnson's Covid graph in full pic.twitter.com/RJInfdyzom
— HappyToast★ (@IamHappyToast) May 10, 2020
8.
https://twitter.com/MrKenShabby/status/1259435834446622720?s=20
9.
Are you able to go and see your grandparent at a park with a bag of grain and a fox but leave the chicken behind?
— Michael Spicer (@MrMichaelSpicer) May 11, 2020
10.
I have two twin brothers. One always tells the truth and the other always lies. Under the new advice can I meet both at the gateway to the labyrinth as long as we stay 2m apart?
— Dorian Lynskey (@Dorianlynskey) May 11, 2020
11.
If we’re now allowed to sit on a park bench with one other person, two metres apart, I guess at least it’s a much-needed boost for the British spy industry.
— Jane Hill (@janehill64) May 11, 2020
12.
Couldn't be clearer – Step one is to allow people who can fly and giant certificates can go back to work, as can cyclists as long as you cycle directly into people sat by trees. pic.twitter.com/juaR8AsSSu
— Nish Kumar (@MrNishKumar) May 10, 2020