Brian Bilston took down Boris Johnson with a clever reworking of Rudyard Kipling’s ‘If’

This government hasn’t exactly been covering itself in glory recently – or, indeed, ever – with scandals surrounding ministers and high-level advisers breaking lockdown rules, accusations of cronyism and obscene amounts of wasted funds. Not to mention this –

We all know this photo…

But did you know that the guy circled in yellow

The one behind Boris Johnson and 2 along from David Cameron

i.e. Johnson’s old Bullingdon Club chum

Has just been appointed by Johnson to be:

WHITEHALL’S INDEPENDENT SLEAZE WATCHDOG pic.twitter.com/bT9uhok0it

— Marina Purkiss (@MarinaPurkiss) July 16, 2021

It seems apt, then, that the fantastic Mr Brian Bilston, unofficial Twitter Poet Laureate, has reworded a popular poem by Rudyard Kipling, to critique the UK’s Old Etonian PM.

Here’s a reworking of Kipling’s poem ‘If’ (Eton College version). pic.twitter.com/cGBkPINguR

— Brian Bilston (@brian_bilston) July 14, 2021

If the top hat fits –

I was going to do a political rant about the crooked oiks in charge of the country, but then I read this, and can't beat it. https://t.co/fZoFrXn07U

— The 37th Wombat (@wombat37) July 18, 2021

Sadly, tragically, accurate and very clever. https://t.co/RhzvG0MIha

— steve toffee (@marrtoffee) July 18, 2021

Not sure if I want to laugh or cry at this … https://t.co/mcS4PI4aMr

— 💙 Julie Thompson 💙 (@JETYork) July 14, 2021

It’s worth reminding ourselves that Eton wasn’t all that impressed with the young Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson, either.

Eton College writes to Boris Johnson's dad in 1982 pic.twitter.com/pIVbsOdZIG

— Letters of Note (@LettersOfNote) February 11, 2019

A man very familiar with the workings of government had this high praise for Brian’s lyrical takedown.

If Carlsberg wrote poetry …. https://t.co/z8d56NMP2N

— ALASTAIR CAMPBELL (@campbellclaret) July 17, 2021

We’ll drink to that.

If you enjoy Brian’s work – and why wouldn’t you? – he’s a published poet with books you can actually buy here.

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Source Brian Bilston Image Screengrab