‘What’s the smallest hill you’ll die on?’ 30 everyday irritants that are entirely relatable

People have been sharing the everyday bugbears that really get their goat after Redditor FunWithAPorpoise asked this.

“What’s the smallest hill you’ll die on?”

And we mention it because it prompted lots of replies which were funny, eye-opening, relatable … and occasionally all three.

We’ve read them all – well, quite a lot of them – so you don’t have to, and here are our favourites.

1.

‘Tall burgers completely nullify all the benefits of burgers, and are an abomination unto cuisine.

‘A good burger is the perfect portable food. It should be edible using only your hands and mouth,without cutlery, and without making too much mess.

‘You should also be able to sample every layer of ingredient in one bite, without dislocating your jaw.’

Javanz

2.

‘It’s not a hot water heater. It’s a water heater.’
grannybubbles

‘I once went to Home Depot to buy a hot water heater. I talked to the dude in the plumbing section for quite a while. Really nice guy. He had his own plumbing business for 20 years until the ’08 crash. Had to sell the biz just to keep his house. He’s been working at HD ever since.

‘Anyway, long story short: I decided to buy a cold water cooler instead.’
3Me20

3.

‘The parents from Parent Trap are WAAAY worse than the parents from Home Alone.’
G2theCip

‘Definitely! Who splits up twins? Assholes, that’s who.’
Skipperismydog

4.

‘Actual physical push buttons are way better than sensor buttons. (Like the xbox 360 sensor buttons).’
I_Grimmly_I

5.

‘Macaroons are not macarons. One has coconut, and one is a sandwich cookie.’
picoCuries

6.

‘Everyday and every day are different. And not interchangeable.

“An everyday walk in the park” vs “I walk in the park every day.”
msalazar395

7.

‘Learn how to spell a name before you saddle a kid with it, for fuck’s sake.’
JohnRandolph

8.

‘JAWS must not EVER be re-made, or retconned, or re-imagined, or re-anything. Ever.’
brendanqmurphy

9.

‘Squeeze the air out of a ziploc bag before you put the bag in the fridge or freezer. I don’t understand why my wife doesn’t and one of these days I’ll have a decision to make.’
lookielikeaman

10.

‘Returning a shopping cart is not that hard. It’s the least you can do when utilizing a service.’
Stock_Intern_7450

11.

‘Touch screens in cars make them worse in many ways.’
raccoonviolence

13.

‘It’s “couldn’t care less” and not “could care less”.. this shouldn’t even be a question but you’d be surprised how many people are willing to die on the could care less hill.’
Regular_Ad_6362

14.

‘Niche is pronounced “neesh” not “nitch”.

‘I’m fine with pretty much all americanisms, but this one just feels like the auditory equivalent of stubbing one’s toe.’
ObscureBen

15.

‘If you (person A) pull open a door and someone (person B) is wanting to come through from the other side, HOLD THE DOOR AND LET THEM THROUGH.

‘Similarly, if you are the other person, don’t dilly-dally, WALK THROUGH. Because the alternative is person A awkwardly trying to pass through whilst struggling to maintain holding the door open, leaving person B waiting awkwardly for them to finish.

‘Happens a lot at my office in the corridors and it does my head in.’
IglooRaves