Our 25 favourite funny tweets of the week
We might not know who the UK prime minister is without checking, or whether the Twitter blue tick is worth the pixels it’s not really printed on, but we’re certain it’s Friday – and that means the Tweets of the Week.
Give your faves a follow.
1.
8 to TWO HUNDRED characters! ‘Yeah the password is nice and easy to remember, it’s the entire cast of Driving Miss Daisy and then their ages starting with the most senior.’ pic.twitter.com/zchWqVRdf2
— Mark Watson, if Elon Musk agrees (@watsoncomedian) November 6, 2022
2.
I am vengeance,
I am the night,
I am BatHorse!!! pic.twitter.com/nIA8Q7EfEP— an engy human (@English_Channel) November 6, 2022
3.
Me, in high-pitched voice: It looks like you’re just trying to make it through the day. Would you like me to tell you that I’m proud of you? pic.twitter.com/0XW5ZdbRHn
— Jason, Evil (@benedictsred) November 8, 2022
4.
If I was Wayne Rooney I would have named at least one of my children Fabba.
— Tim Vine (@RealTimVine) November 9, 2022
5.
Can I click both buttons? pic.twitter.com/jJ85WL3Swr
— Groovy Tasia (@GroovyTasia) November 9, 2022
6.
LIFE HACK: You can turn your ordinary sofa into a sofa bed by simply forgetting your wife's birthday.
— mariana Z (@mariana057) November 6, 2022
7.
The Venn diagram of surrealists and people who don’t understand Venn diagrams is a perfect umbrella on fire.
— paul bassett davies (@thewritertype) November 9, 2022
8.
I am on a bus. Wish I hadn’t bothered bringing a kettle now. pic.twitter.com/1PoXKK0nYE
— Gary Bainbridge (@Gary_Bainbridge) November 6, 2022
9.
Someone asked me what I did this weekend like I’m some sort of mountain climber.
I’m 50 years old Conner, I was on a heating pad eating nachos.
— Tracie Breaux (@traciebreaux) November 8, 2022
10.
Some conservatives think that my very presence in a classroom will make students LGBTQ 😂.
I want to say, "Honestly, my presence isn't even guaranteed to teach them comma usage. And I literally AM trying to teach that."
— Willie Edward Taylor Carver Jr. (@WillieETCarver) November 7, 2022
11.
Me: *Tries to sit down*
Chair: I don't know who you are. I don't know what you want. If you're looking for ransom, I can tell you I don't have money… but what I do have are a very particular set of skills
Waiter: Sorry Sir, that seat is Taken
— @pessimusprime (@_pessimusprime) November 7, 2022
12.
Kids should come with a “skip intro” button for their stories
— I Hide From My Kids (@IHideFromMyKids) November 8, 2022