23 funniest tweets about life with kids
Children may be the smaller humans in the house, but they very often rule the roost, either through giving their adults the Puss in Boots eyes or through sheer force of excess energy.
These tweeters know the score – and share their experiences with added laughs.
1.
Why not try smearing your toddler's food down your shirt, all over their face and the rest onto the floor to save time.
Follow me for more parenting advice.
— Claire Behind The Hair Blue Tick (@urmumsausername) February 3, 2023
2.
KID'S BIRTHDAY PARTY HACK: ditch the clown and hire a stenographer to record who gave which gift
— Henpecked Hal (@HenpeckedHal) February 3, 2023
3.
My daughter tried to scare her sister by telling her if you eat too many bananas you can die because they have a radioactive property and it’s never been more clear that I’m nailing motherhood.
— @itssherifield (@itssherifield) February 6, 2023
4.
Apparently you can’t complain to the restaurant staff about the loud kids when they are yours.
— My Life As Dad (@milifeasdad) February 1, 2023
5.
How can I teach kids to clean up after themselves when the internet is filled with bathroom selfie pics that look like truck stops?
— Just4funsa (@Just4funsa) February 6, 2023
6.
Just told my kid “sometimes in life you have to go places where people are wearing pants and you have to wear pants too” and I’m so very disappointed with who I’ve become
— cap’n watsisname (@capnwatsisname) February 5, 2023
7.
My 3-year-old said she wished we had a pet. I reminded her we have a dog and wow the genuine surprise on her face as it dawned on her that our dog is a pet and not just some other guy who lives here.
— Kristen Mulrooney (@missmulrooney) February 7, 2023
8.
My son has recently learned how to count to 20 and I am so proud of him and holy shit make it stop please.
— The Dad (@thedad) February 8, 2023
9.
Me: "I think it's time for a change. Should I paint the bathroom?"
5yo: "Yes!"
Me: "What colors?"
5yo: "The same!"
— MommyingHard (@MommyingHard) February 9, 2023
10.
My kid got her half semester report card and it seems like extra math classes may be needed for me
— Vinod Chhaproo (@Chhapiness) February 9, 2023
11.
Parents should get hazard pay for sleeping in the same bed with a toddler
— Real Life Mommy (@reallifemommy3) February 7, 2023
12.
I told the baby to stop throwing her cup and she immediately grabbed it, took a long drink, threw it across the room and then looked me dead in the eye and said, "Uh oh."
— Trey (@treydayway) February 3, 2023
