25 Favourite Tweets of the Week
13.
Shower Food Review 42: Giant Sour Gummy Worm – This was the most shame I've ever felt in the shower. I'm worried even God won't forgive me for this one. My ex girlfriend is moving out soon and she saw me eating this. The look on her face said "I made the right choice." 7/10 pic.twitter.com/d8rCUg1S9v
— gaz (@gazpachomachine) May 2, 2023
14.
When a work project succeeds: “This was a group project. We all contributed and worked hard on it, and we all deserve credit. Yay team!”
When a work project fails: “That was Steve’s idea.”
— John Lyon (@JohnLyonTweets) May 1, 2023
15.
I'm like Casper the Friendly Ghost
-super pale
-childish
-more popular in the 90s— Marl (@Marlebean) May 4, 2023
16.
My husband and I play this fun game called “Mansplaining” and the loser has to sleep on the couch that night and I get the bed all to myself
— Tracie Breaux (@traciebreaux) May 4, 2023
17.
Best thing about wearing glasses is taking them off when you're about to say something so people know shits about to get real.
— Dan Regan (@Social_Mime) May 2, 2023
18.
The perfect introvert's party cake doesn't exis… pic.twitter.com/zdXsNRSOQa
— human decanter, Google it. (@KissabiX) May 3, 2023
19.
I used to believe in things, then I watched that Jim Carrey documentary, The Truman Show.
— Ⓜ️isterD (@MisterD78UK) May 2, 2023
20.
If you burned CDs for the car so your original copies wouldn't get scratched, it's time to schedule your colonoscopy.
— Ben Boven (@benboven1) May 1, 2023
21.
"If you're happy and you know it, Stay in Bed. If you're happy and you know it, Stay in Bed. If you're happy and you know it, getting up will surely blow it. If you're happy and you know it, STAY IN BED!"
— Granite Man 🏴 (@GraniteDhuine) May 2, 2023
22.
There are five rats for every person in New York. Sign up now for this amazing offer!
— Phil Pagett (@Phil_Pagett) May 2, 2023
23.
flight attendant: is there a doctor on board
dad: *nudging me* that could’ve been u son
me: not now dad
dad: they’re not asking for a YouTuber are they
me: dad that man is dying
dad: why don’t u go over there and ask him to subscribe
— alien skier (@clichedout) May 4, 2023
24.
Life imitates art, again. pic.twitter.com/nHX0QBO0UI
— Daniel Holland🎗🏴 ॐ (@DannyDutch) May 5, 2023
25.
Whenever I leave a public bathroom I fold the toilet paper into a fancy triangle to class the joint up
— Midge (@mxmclain) May 4, 2023
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Our 25 Favourite Funny Tweets of the Week
Image Pixabay