25 Favourite Tweets of the Week
If you’re in the UK, a warning – don’t get too used to all these bank holidays. You may have just had one and be about to have another, but then you have to wait a whole three weeks for the next.
Before you finish off whatever work you have left before the long weekend, give yourself a treat with these funny tweets from the past seven days.
1.
Lovely surprise bumping into my old French teacher today.
She asked what I was upto these days and I said that I like to go swimming with my friend and there's a cat on the chair.
— 💂🏻♀️👋🏻вєαя🍻🇬🇧™ (@BigBearF1) April 30, 2023
2.
me: I need to buy a train ticket
employee: window or aisle
me: *suddenly nervous* or you'll what
— Adam Cerious (@Browtweaten) May 1, 2023
3.
How to deliver on a promise, part 1. pic.twitter.com/8qNlticPbu
— Sarah Hilary (@sarah_hilary) May 2, 2023
4.
Cats: Why do you pretend the little woolly squeaky thing is alive?
Me: I thought you thought it was alive. You chase after it.
Cats: Of course we chase after it.
Me: There you are then.
Cats: We're not doing that because we think it's alive. We chase after it to keep you amused.— Michael Rosen 💙💙🎓🎓 (@MichaelRosenYes) May 2, 2023
5.
People on local Facebook pages instead of calling the police:
“Just in case anyone needs to know, there’s a house being robbed down past the allotments ☹️❤️”
— VeryBritishProblems (@SoVeryBritish) May 1, 2023
6.
A recent study has revealed that the most common dog breed in Iceland is the bjorkshire terrier.
— FᎪᎢ ᏩᎪNᎠᎪᏞF (@sofarrsogud) May 2, 2023
7.
tired of self improvement can’t everyone else just get worse
— m@thew (@TweetPotato314) April 30, 2023
8.
If you enjoy eating cereal with the 8 drops of milk that was left in the carton, then kids may be for you.
— KJ (@IDontSpeakWhine) May 2, 2023
9.
Check his Duolingo stats to see if he can handle commitment
— Emotional Support Moo 🐮 (@AsclepiasRosa) April 26, 2023
10.
I don't actually need a house cleaner, I just need the threat of a house cleaner coming over as motivation
— meghan (@deloisivete) April 28, 2023
11.
Well, that should do it pic.twitter.com/vZgeYMN7Lx
— Al Murray – DKMS.ORG.UK 🇺🇦 (@almurray) May 2, 2023
12.
Amuse polling station staff by poking a shirt out from behind the booth curtain and asking “Have you got this in a medium?” @TwopTwips
— GlennyRodge (@GlennyRodge) May 4, 2023
