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Looking for a new euphemism for going to the toilet? You’ll lav these 21

We’re grateful to u/nuanimal, who went to r/CasualUK with this question.

What’s the weirdest/best euphemism you’ve heard for going to the toilet?

They added –

“I was out for dinner with my in laws family recently. My FIL excused himself to go to the toilet by saying “I need to go turn the bike around”. I’ve never heard this one before.

I was really confused, and my other half said it was pretty common – but nowhere near the classics like dropping the kids off at the pool. I’ve decided to make up brand new nonsense phrases now.

I’m going to clear the cement mixer

I need to finish the tour de France

I need to open a jam jar

But would love to hear any good ones you’ve heard.”

Could be a bit awkward if you really need to go and open a jam jar. These 21 caught our eye.

1.


js70062
Screengrab

2.

My MIL says “excuse me I’ve had a message”.

I genuinely thought she meant that she’d had a text message.
Agreeable_guard_7299

3.

Preparing yesterday’s lunch.
DylanClegg23

4.

Negotiating the release of the chocolate hostages.
alexterm

5.

Knitting a brown scarf is a favourite of mine.
big_bob_2007

6.

“There’s a mole at the counter and he won’t take no for an answer”.
RadiantsTable

7.


previousteachings9416
Via Freepik

8.

Point Percy at the porcelain.
severalfishannotaguy

9.

When my dog needs to shit he waddles along for a bit with his tail up ramrod straight, so we say “I think the Queen is in” (like when the flag is up at Buckingham Palace).

This has now evolved into us saying “I’m just going to see if the Queen is in” or similar when we are excusing ourselves.

Yes, I know there’s a King now but all of us are old and set in our ways.
catflapspaintandglue

10.

Going to put some thoughts down on paper.
goodassjournalist

11.

Popping to the workshop to knock up some stools.
MavGore