21 things you can’t do anymore ‘because of woke’
In certain right-leaning parts of society and the media, there’s something of an obsession with the idea of ‘wokeness’ – although many of those claiming it’s ruining everything couldn’t tell you what it means.
Here’s the brilliant Kathy Burke explaining what ‘woke’ is – in all her NSFW glory.
Fucking love @KathyBurke BE WOKE! #woke #kathyburkegrowingup pic.twitter.com/7QIPaGliMT
— Haze ハシバミ (@haze2003purple) March 15, 2023
On what used to be Twitter before the anti-woke billionaire got his hands on it, people have been applying the right’s lack of logic to blame ‘woke’ for all sorts of things, to very funny effect.
Here are some favourite examples.
1.
Used to be that when your egg hatched you could still wear the bottom part as underpants and the top part as a little hat as your went about your business. But you can’t anymore. Because of woke.
— David Cooper (@davidbcooper) January 28, 2024
2.
Scientists used to have big, swirly glasses. Can't do that anymore, because of woke.
— Mia Serena (@GBASPGamer) February 2, 2024
3.
If your husband was late home you used to be able to stand on the door step glowering and waving a rolling pin about. And you can’t do that any more. Because of woke
— Matthew Fellows (@fattmellows) February 4, 2024
4.
REACHER is my favorite show in which every character is constantly ten seconds away from complaining that you’re not allowed to kill people extrajudicially anymore because of “woke”.
— Avery Edison (@aedison) January 10, 2024
5.
Used to be a mouse could eat an entire block of cheese and his body would become perfectly triangular with two ears and a nose sticking out. Can't any more, because of woke.
— Dr Clops: Medicine Horse twitch.tv/brainmage (@Brainmage) November 2, 2023
6.
Teenagers don't help the local mad scientist with their experiments anymore. Because of woke
— big shot (@big_shot_bones) January 31, 2024
7.
why don't dogs solve crimes anymore? you know why. because of woke. pic.twitter.com/HtiQ6LiDKY
— Potentially Trevor Walker (@ConditorCancri) February 1, 2024
8.
The science job market is so tough. Long gone are the days where you could MEEP MEEP your way to a lab assistant gig at which you routinely get electrocuted, blown up, or eaten by monsters. Because of woke
— Dustin Growick (@DustinGrowick) January 30, 2024
9.
Used to be that you could provide electricity for your whole town by entering a bedroom through a closet door, scaring the child living there and collecting their screams as a power source, but now you can only make them laugh through slapstick, because of woke.
— Mark Grimshaw (@MarkGComedyUK) January 30, 2024
10.
because of woke pic.twitter.com/ejmlX6bkNG
— elliott (@twinbruises_) January 31, 2024
11.
Journalists can’t even ring a bell and say “hear ye hear ye” any more. Because of woke.
— Michael Fry (@BigDirtyFry) December 16, 2023
