Life jokes

People have been sharing their best jokes and it’s just the escape we needed right now – 17 rib-ticklers

10.

‘Hedgehogs. Why can’t they just share the hedge?’
archangel12

11.

‘What’s blue and not very heavy? Light blue.’
throwaway2736636a

12.

‘A bear and a rabbit are chatting to each other in the woods.

“Do you have a problem with shit sticking to your fur?” asks the bear.

“No”, answers the rabbit.

“Brilliant”, says the bear, as he picks up the rabbit and wipes his arse with it.’
ViridianKumquat

13.

‘A woman’s walking down the road and sees a beautiful parrot in a pet shop window. She rushes in and exclaims “that parrot in the window is the most beautiful creature I’ve ever seen, I have to have it”

‘The pet shop owner says “you’re in luck, this bird is going cheap as I’m afraid it used to live in a brothel and has learned some unsavoury phrases” The woman replies “I don’t care, I have to have this parrot”

‘So, she gets the bird home and uncovers the cage. The parrot looks around, “New place, very nice.” Her daughters walk downstairs, “New girls, very nice indeed.”

‘Finally, her husband enters and the parrot says, “Hello Keith!”
No_Atmosphere1852

14.

‘Two women sat in a front room. One looks out of the window and exclaims “oh, bloody hell, he’s brought flowers! That means I’ll have to spend the rest of the night lying on my back with my legs wide open!”

‘The other woman looks at her and says “why? Haven’t you got a vase?”
SmeeegHeead

15.

‘Today was my son’s fourth birthday party. I didn’t recognize him at first. I’d never seen him be four.’
Dannn88

16.

‘Did you know that people from Dubai dont like The Flintstones but people from Abu Dhabi do…

‘I’ll get my coat.’
long_legged_twat

17.

‘I was born in 1992 and this year I’m only going to celebrate my birthday for half a minute. It’s my thirty second birthday.’
ChiefBast

Many happy returns, fiddle-sticks_

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Surely the most epic mansplaining self-own you’ll see this week – or any week

Source Reddit u/_fiddle-sticks_