‘What’s the most hilariously British way you’ve handled an awkward situation?’ – 23 people who were so polite they made themselves cringe

Though we are famously self-deprecating, British also know they have some good qualities, one of which is that we’re (usually) incredibly polite.

However, sometimes that politeness tips over into extreme awkwardness, which leaves everyone involved feeling like a bit of plain old rudeness may have ultimately been easier to handle.

Over on the AskUK subreddit, user FallAmbitious2844 asked ‘What’s the most hilariously British way you’ve handled an awkward situation?’ and followed up with this example:

I once apologized to a mannequin after bumping into it in Marks & Spencer, only for another shopper to chime in ‘Don’t worry, love, they’re used to it’.

And similarly bungling Brits were happy to share their own stories.

1.

‘I’m utterly shit with remembering people. While back in my home town a random woman walking towards me said ‘Oh my God, long time no see’ and held her arms open for a hug. I held open my arms and just hoped the name would come to me. She gave me a look like I was an escaped mental patient and hugged the woman behind me. I pretended the whole incident never happened and walked on while dying a little inside with a slow clap happening in my head.’
–GuybrushFunkwood

2.

‘I was chatting to someone when I was drunk outside a club and this random guy just came up to me and punched me in the face but I was so drunk it didn’t even register what was happening. I just paused the conversation for a second, turned to him, said ‘That was a bit unnecessary’ and turned back to my conversation and he said ‘Yeah, ok, sorry’ and then walked off.’
–Sea_Puddle

3.

‘I grabbed the hand of some random middle aged man at the cinema when I was 17. Thought my boyfriend at the time was next to me and went to hold his hand. Not sure who was more awkwardly British because he took my hand and we just stared at each other awkwardly apologising whilst still holding hands. My boyfriend and the guy’s wife thought it was hilarious.’
–LeonardBetts88

4.

‘Wasn’t even an awkward situation until I spoke but I’ve said thanks to a vending machine before, purely by habit and felt like such a tit afterwards. Fortunately there was nobody nearby.’
–LewisMileyCyrus

5.

‘A very overly enthusiastic French man giving me a kiss on the cheek when we first met. I instantly froze up and said ‘Sorry. I’m British’.’
–AlbionOak

6.

‘I apologised to a hairdresser for getting blood on her scissors when she took a chunk out of my ear. I panicked.’
–VanessaCardui93

7.

‘I went round to see a friend (uni house set-up situation), some lad I didn’t recognise let me in and we went into the lounge and I kind of assumed I should wait on the couch and he said I’m sure she’ll be down in a minute. I sat there for most of an episode of Eastenders with some people I didn’t know, I assumed at the time her housemates, and I said something like ‘Haha she’s always ages getting ready’ and it turned out she didn’t live there and they had no idea who she was or even anyone of her name. I just stood up and laughed and said sort of hahaha whoopsie and they laughed and it was awkward so we all smiled and I thanked them profusely and just left.’
–blackcurrantcat

8.

‘Saw a neighbour while I was walking the kids to school, at the end of a brief bit of pleasantries he went to give a fist bump, I, being the cool person I am reached out and shook his fist thinking it was going to be a handshake.

Ten years on and I’m still cringing.’
–denbolula

9.

‘I got given the wrong order once in Costa and realised when I sat down and started to drink it. So I did what any British person would have done – drank the whole thing while thinking to myself ‘This is absolutely vile, what weirdo would actually like this?!’. After that, I felt like I had passed some kind of citizenship test.’
–KatVanWall

10.

‘Not me, but I was called for jury duty and lining up with my group to go to the private room for our case. When we got there we realised there were two more people than the 12 chosen for that jury. We had gained a random extra couple of blokes who’d just started, didn’t know what they were doing so they (quote) ‘saw a queue and joined it’.’
–Cartographer_Hopeful

11.

‘Upon receiving my degree, the Head of Faculty or Chancellor or whoever it was said ‘Well done, congratulations on your achievement’ and because I was so focused on not falling over out of habit I just said “You too’.’
–Chizlewagon

12.

‘Witnessed a three-tier wedding cake made by the mother-in-law collapse when the trestle table it was on gave way.
Best man saved the day in his speech with the line: ‘Thank you to Marjorie for the beautiful cake. It went down very well.’
–overladenlederhosen