
Our 25 Favourite Funny Tweets of the Week
13.
There are two types of people in this world:
1)People who tried to move an object with their mind at least once
2)Liars
— мя gяєєη (@iGreenGod) March 4, 2025
14.
I would vote for any candidate that makes it illegal for men to wear white sneakers with jeans
— Böb Jänke: Hönkÿ (@Bob_Janke) March 5, 2025
15.
I’ve just been into my old primary school to give a talk. They asked me who the headteacher was then, I said Mrs McClusky, they couldn’t remember her & looked through the archive to no avail. Got home to Google & realised she wasn’t my teacher at all, she was off Grange Hill ♀️
— Jayne Moorby (@JayneMoobs) March 5, 2025
16.
Pigeons: https://t.co/XDllMvWKHY
— Sam Whyte (@SamWhyte) March 4, 2025
17.
idk I think it’s a goldilocks situation and he needs to find the third Jennifer that is just right https://t.co/6sUhP68xLE
— stoned cold fox (@roastmalone_) March 5, 2025
18.
Dear old people,
Being in bed by 9:00pm is amazing. Sorry I made fun of you.— Papa Woof und Krampus und Bleaken (@woofknight) March 2, 2025
19.
When people ask me why I use a wheelchair by saying “What do you have?” I want to say “Manners.”
— Lindsay (@Rollinintheseat) March 5, 2025
20.
I’m still reeling from this team’s chosen name, when “Wangers & Nash” was RIGHT there#onlyconnect @VictoriaCoren pic.twitter.com/uElPB3vh8G
— katie salmon (@kay_tea_m8) March 3, 2025
21.
I always hear people bragging about weightlifting. In my opinion, if I have to grunt to pick something up, it can just stay where it is.
— Darla (@ddsmidt) March 3, 2025
22.
The hardest part of making a mockumentary is all the mockumentation.
— Sam Skoronski (@SamSkoronski) March 1, 2025
23.
*turns on 65 inch tv*
*keeps scrolling tiny phone*
– a memoir
— ɴᴏ ᴄᴜᴛs ɴᴏ ʙᴜᴛs ɴᴏ ᴄᴏᴄᴏɴᴜᴛs (@damn_elle) March 5, 2025
24.
me: OMG I hate this.
boss: you're not on mute
me: i know.
— Dadman Walking (@dadmann_walking) March 5, 2025
25.
Turns out my entire food pyramid is nothing but pizza mortared together with mozzarella sticks and marinara
— Balderdash (@wx388) March 6, 2025
READ MORE
Our 25 Favourite Funny Tweets of the Week
Image Wikimedia Commons