‘What’s the pettiest thing someone has had a go at you for?’ – 22 arguments of truly impressive triviality

Even though we tell ourselves we have a ‘live and let live’ attitude as a nation, the truth is the British are often curtain-twitching busybodies who will chew someone out for an incredibly minor infraction. Over on the AskUK subreddit, user Kaapstad2018 asked –

‘What’s the pettiest thing someone has had a go at you for?’

They added their own example:

I was walking my dog, we cut through the churchyard that has a ‘No fouling’ sign. Behind me I hear “Can’t you read?’ This older couple is standing watching me walk my dog thinking I’ve deliberately gone there for her to go to the bathroom. I explain that I can read, the sign doesn’t say ‘No dogs’, it says ‘No fouling’ and my dog hasn’t fouled. But you know what, if it does, I’ll pick it up.

This couple just wouldn’t let up and when I asked if they don’t have anything better to do the lady exclaimed ‘I can film it!’ OK, film me walking my dog and pick up its poop, that’ll get the neighbourhood Facebook group grannies in a tizz. Anyhoo, called them petty, wished them Happy Easter and moved on.

They dealt with that much more calmly than we would. And it seems there are lots of other people desperate to tell people off for no reason, as the replies showed…

1.

‘The amber light flashing on my Telehandler when I was driving it back to the farm at night. New woman to the village (a farming village) that had put multiple complaints in the local Facebook group about farmers driving at night (collecting the harvest) ‘spoiling her tranquility she paid for’. Every piece of farm equipment that’s driven past her house for the last two years has blasted the air horn since. Funnily enough the house is back up for sale.’
–GuybrushFunkwood

2.

‘Similar story to yours, my dog stopped for a poo and this woman approached myself and my gf from behind us and she started berating us about picking it up literally the second he squatted. He was still mid poo!

‘Are you going to pick that up?’

‘Yes, can I let him finish first? Unless you want me to crouch behind him and catch it as it comes out.’
–thrrowaway4obreasons

3.

‘I was managing a wage bill for a site I was working at. At the time is was roughly £125,000 a week. One week we went over by 50 pence on what I’d projected would be the cost. I had to go on a conference call to be berated and apologise for the 50 pence overspend.’
–ThatchersDirtyTaint

4.

‘Me and my old mate fell out for a year or so because I blew up his worms on the PlayStation.’
–Immediate_Sherbert47

5.

‘When I bought my first place, the neighbour (no drive) came and asked me (whilst getting out of my car) if they could continue to park in the driveway as the previous owner let them. Yeah, no worries mate, you use my drive and I’ll just park on the road yeah?!’
–Few-Role-4568

6.

‘Somebody at work once complained to my manager because I didn’t share my birthday cake with him.’
–kingpudsey

7.

‘My former next door neighbour had a go at me for changing the wheel on my car when I had a puncture. Told me that I ‘shouldn’t be doing that type of thing around here’ and that I was ‘turning the area into a mechanics workshop’.

Thing was, he did more work on his car than anyone in the area at the time. Strange person. Glad he’s gone. Delusions of his own grandeur.’
–Kenjon60

8.

‘I used to work in a concession in a garden centre that sold aquarium stuff. During the summer, we sold plants for ponds that sat in shallow vats of water in an outside area of the garden centre that had a brick floor. One hot day, I was topping these vats up with the hose pipe and one of them had overflowed, wetting the floor.

The woman who worked on the hot tub concession next door started shouting at me, as this would put her customers off.

I laughed at first as I thought she was joking, this level of water, and plenty more got on the floor every time it rains. She was being deadly serious and it turned into quite the argument.’
–WeirdGrapefruit774

9.

‘My grandmother told me off for drinking from a water bottle and she said I didn’t need it. She also told me off for taking nuts from a bowl that she offered me.’
–ashensfan123

10.

‘My sister once had a go at me because we went to a local music shop while on holiday, and she let us pick a CD as a gift. We got back to the caravan and played mine, and she didn’t like it. It was ‘Midian’ by Cradle of Filth. I still listen to it, and laugh at the memory of her having a meltdown.’
–SkeletorOnLSD

11.

‘Ordered pizza for games night, couple of quid left over so I told the driver keep it… shows how long ago this was! One guy proper kicks off at me for stealing from him, to the point that I went home to avoid getting smacked. He spread rumours to anyone that would listen that I’d stolen from him to get free pizza, which I’ve only heard second-hand as he hasn’t spoken to me since!’
–F00lsSpring