‘What is the stupidest thing you’ve done because of tiredness?’ – 25 gloriously dumb acts by people who really needed some sleep

There’s feeling tired. And then there’s feeling so tired you are quite literally no longer able to function as a human. The spectacularly named Reddit user RagingFuckNuggets knows all about this and took to the AskUK page to pose the question ‘What is the stupidest thing you’ve done because of tiredness?’, which they followed up with this very-funny-if-you’re-not-them anecdote…

Like most parents, I’m knackered. It’s the same old wake up, rush to get the kids ready, work, get everyone home, make tea and try and spend some time with my children, talking about their day and stuff. Mundane, but very tiring.

It’s taken me three hours to get my youngest down, I don’t know what’s happened but something has possessed my child who is usually asleep by 7pm on the dot. I’ve finally got some time for myself so I’ve come upstairs with a drink (milk of all things!) and some chocolate treats and instead of putting the milk on the side and whazzing the chocolate on the bed, I’ve chucked the milk on the bed and put the chocolate on the bedside table.

I literally just stood in shock before shouting in a whisper for my husband to come and help, not wanting to wake the lovely little crotch goblins I’d finally got to sleep. Now I’m stripping the bed and debating if I just burn my mattress or attempt it with the carpet cleaner tomorrow. Air bed for us tonight.

Yep, that’s very silly indeed, but they get a free pass because what parent isn’t mind-alteringly exhausted? And luckily, it turns out they aren’t alone in doing ridiculous things, as the replies showed.

1.

‘I was once driving home from work at about midnight and turned around to go back to work because I was convinced I’d left my car key there. I probably shouldn’t have been driving that tired..!’
–Life-Bedroom-8886

2.

‘I was so tired last week, I was emptying the tumble dryer and instead of putting it in a laundry bag, I put the clothes straight in the rubbish bin! Had to fish socks out of there!’
–butterflyrattle

3.

‘I was once loading the dishwasher while eating a custard cream. Put the custard cream in the tablet drawer and bit into the dishwasher tablet. Worst biscuit ever.’
–SnooLobsters8265

4.

‘I wasn’t even particularly tired when I did this, but today I cracked three eggs into a bowl to make omelettes, then put the bowl in the sink so I could use the electric whisk (it’s easier and cleaner this way), and before getting the whisk turned the tap on and washed the eggs straight down the plughole.’
–geejaytee

5.

‘I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve tried to put the kettle in the fridge after making tea. I swear, if it actually fitted in the milk bit, I’d have walked away and left it, only to come back to everything melting in there and the milk curdling on the worktop.’
–Dimac99

6.

‘I was attempting to write myself a note before making a sandwich. I used a sharpie on the bread instead of butter.’
–hellsangel101

7.

‘I stood outside my old flat for about five minutes pressing the central locking key for my car, wondering why the front door wasn’t opening.’
–ellemeno_

8.

‘The other morning I put Coco Pops instead of coffee beans in my coffee grinder. I’m guessing that counts.’
–therealhairykrishna

9.

‘I’m an NHS worker, we have blood gas machines that can analyse a syringe of blood and give you results in about 30 seconds. I caught a colleague of mine standing in front of a soft drink vending machine trying to figure out where the syringe went.’
–ocylog

10.

‘Post-night shift I’ve definitely tried to open my front door by ‘scanning’ my hospital badge on the handle and wondered why it didn’t open.’
–olibolicoli

11.

‘First night home with my first baby, for some reason I’d been compelled to weed the garden when I got home, despite being two days post partum.

By the time I went to bed I was so exhausted I was actually hallucinating, so I got out of bed to herd the sheep out of the bedroom. Nothing my partner could say could dissuade me – I could see these sheep and they couldn’t be in the room with my baby!’
–Fyonella

12.

‘Poured Ribena in my fucking corn flakes.’
–Editor-In-Queef