Round Ups Ask Reddit

What’s the worst TMI moment you’ve experienced courtesy of a child? – 17 hilarious oversharing moments

Parenting is a rollercoaster. It’s often stressful, sometimes rewarding, and every now and then it’s absolutely hilarious. This is often due to children’s complete lack of a filter, meaning they say exactly what’s on their mind whether it’s fit for public consumption or not.

To share in these funny yet embarrassing moments, MisterWednesday6 invited r/AskReddit users to share the worst TMI moments they’ve experienced courtesy of a child, and even got the ball rolling with their own:

‘Mine was delivered by a 10 year old boy at the prep school where I used to work, who I was patching up in the sick bay after a nasty fall. I hadn’t been working there long and hadn’t met this lad before, so I asked whether he had any brothers and sisters – to which the response was, “No, I’m an only child. Mum says my dad’s got a low sperm count.”’

Here are the top replies to make you cringe and laugh at the same time …

1.

‘A 16 year old so not a child… son of my friend. My friend was asking his son why a particular girl he was friendly with had stopped coming round their house. The boy explained that now she’s 18 she’s been going to pubs and such.
Dad: “You’re still an inbetween-er I guess.” (meaning that awkward 16-18 part where you’re an adult in some ways but not others).

Son (in a sudden outburst): “NO I HAVEN’T BEEN IN BETWEEN HER!” He was BRIGHT red and then, for some reason, added: “But at that party I had last week, Duncan had her in your en-suite shower twice.”

His dad was frozen to the spot in horror while I rolled around laughing hysterically, almost unable to get enough air.
He’s 28 now and still hasn’t lived this down.’
-ThrustersToFull

2.

‘I worked 1:1 with a lad (about 7-8yo at the time) with high needs a few years back. Great kid and he made such huge progress in the time I was with him. I have nothing but love for this lad…

After a year with him, his mum announced she was pregnant again. Had this not happened, I’d have been concerned about the following conversation I had with the lad.

I had noticed he had been collecting his apple seeds obssessively whenever he ate an apple. I didn’t think much of it but he wouldn’t let us throw them away at all. Then one day he was chatting away to me amd asked if I had a boyfriend. I said no and he paused and said “you might need to find one soon so he can put his seed in you”.

Suddenly his apple seed collection made sense – mum had obviously explained making a baby as the dad putting a seed in mum, and little lad thought she meant an apple seed.

There was a few minutes of me looking at him horrified until I made the connection that he was working off what mum had said to explain her pregnancy and that it wasn’t a major safeguarding concern.’
-Mundane-Research

3.

‘My own 5yo seeing me change at the pool: “your bum bum is so hairy!! No don’t cover it up, I want to see!”’
-jonquil14

4.

‘We were on the home stretch of a long drive, we’d just hit the A63 about 5 miles from home, when our 7-8yo son piped up from the back seat: “Yaaaaay, it’s Pulse & Cocktails Adult Store! I always know that we’re nearly home when I see that!”.’
-theevildjinn

5.

‘My neighbour’s 3 year old child was round our house. My husband had gone upstairs and she asked if he had a willy. I just replied with a “yes”.

She then asked, “Is it as big as my daddy’s?”

My neighbour was in hysterics when I told her.’
-Auntie_Cagul

6.

‘Took the youngling swimming and we’re getting changed together – this is before she’s school-age, so she’s maybe 3 or 4. Pointed at my tampon string and starts yelling THERE’S A SPIDER IN YOUR VAG MUMMY and repeating ‘it’s a spider’ when I tell her it’s not.

Definitely heard other families laughing at me arguing about whether I have a fanny full of spiders with my infant child.’
-tinatarantino

7.

‘Was doing a shop in tescos, walking down the toiletry aisle.

A mother had her child sat in the trolley, I’d guess about 4. The child exclaims, ‘are you going to buy wet wipes so our bums are extra clean after we have a poo?’. I did a terrible job containing my laughter, air bursting from my pursed lips as I passed. The mother said ‘you don’t say things like that in public’ we caught each-other’s eye’s and she smiled and shook her head as I struggled to contain my laughter.’
-Flimsy-Battle7816

8.

‘At swimming in the family changing my 3 year old pointed and shouted very loudly – mummy hairy penis .’
-Oilfreeeggs

9.

‘I was getting out of a cab with my 5 yo child when she loudly announced “I think I just sharted”. Definitely TMI for the cabbie.’
-Difficult-Bet-2522