The 5 stages of realising there are no tasty snacks left because your teenagers have eaten them all

The 5 stages of realising you’ve got no tasty snacks left in the house because your teenage kids have eaten them all.

1. Denial

“I’m absolutely sure I put the crisps in this cupboard. I quite clearly remember buying a huge multipack 2 days ago. And I restocked the biscuit tin. How are there only crumbs left in it now? Surely they can’t ALL have been eaten already. That’s impossible. No!”

2. Anger

“WHY DO I BUY NICE THINGS IF EVERYONE JUST EATS THEM? MAYBE I SHOULD HIDE THEM BY STICKING THEM UP MY ARSE! THOUGH THOSE GREEDY BLOODY GITS WOULD PROBABLY STILL FIND THEM!”

3. Bargaining

“If only I’d bought Garibaldi biscuits instead of Chocolate Hobnobs. Then maybe there would be some left. In future, I will hide all snacks in the salad drawer of the fridge, they’ll never check there. If I can find a stray packet of crisps at the back of this cupboard, even if it’s out of date, even if it’s prawn cocktail flavour, then I will stop complaining.”

4. Depression

“All I wanted was a biscuit to have with my cup of tea. Even a Rich Tea would have done the job. Just one packet of crisps out of the 18 bags I bought. That would have done me. Is that too much to ask? No one thinks of me in this house. They probably wouldn’t even notice if I wasn’t here until they wanted a lift or some money or more bastard snacks.”

5. Acceptance 

“I’m trying to lose a couple of pounds so I probably shouldn’t be eating crisps and biscuits anyway. I’ll have an apple instead. Alexa, add more crisps and biscuits for the kids to my shopping list.”

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