Somebody asked for people’s favourite dad jokes and these 23 replies will make you chuckle against your will
13.
‘The other day a man threw a block of cheese at me.
‘I said ‘That’s mature’.’
–Bum-Sniffer
14.
‘Breaking news: A man has trained his dog to play the trumpet on the London underground.
‘He said he went from Barking to Tooting in just under an hour.’
–SexyMuthaFunka
15.
‘Why do the Norwegian navy have bar codes on their ships?
‘Because they like to scan da navy in.’
–ComprehensiveBee1819
16.
‘What was the last thing the buffalo said to his child?
‘Bison.’
–Southern_Mushroom259
17.
‘I went to see a Spanish magician on stage the other night. For the finale, he said he’d do a vanishing act. He started to count down: ‘Uno, dos, cuatro…’ and then he disappeared without a tres.’
–Spiderinahumansuit
18.
‘My grandson, he’s almost five and he can’t even say please in Spanish. I think that’s pretty poor for four.’
–concretebeagle
19.
‘What’s the difference between a Kangaroo and a Kangaroot?
‘One’s an Australian marsupial…the other’s a Geordie stuck in a lift.’
–My_lo_73
20.
‘My wife said she’d leave me because of my Kylie obsession. I should be so lucky.’
–PersonalitySafe1810
21.
‘My wife said she’d leave me if I didn’t stop quoting Monkees songs. At first, I was sceptical, but then I saw her face…’
–kevstershill
22.
‘My girlfriend said my Oasis obsession was getting out of hand and I needed to stop quoting their lyrics all the time. I said ‘Maybe’.’
–GrandDukeOfNowhere
23.
‘My girlfriend kicked me out because of my terrible Arnold Schwarzenegger impressions… But…
‘I’LL RETURN!’
–JK07
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