Our 25 Favourite Funny Tweets of the Week
13.
Please pay respect to people who wear glasses
They have paid to see you
— A Million Little Things (@UnseenShreds1) September 29, 2025
14.
How the law works is, if it's not exactly illegal to own a weasel, I'm keeping it.
— Annie Hatfield (@AnneHatfieldVO) September 30, 2025
15.
I don't subscribe to any magazines, but if they came out with "Good Enough Housekeeping," that's one I might read.
— Abby Heugel (@AbbyHasIssues) September 29, 2025
16.
Due to circumstances beyond my control (capitalism), I'm awake.
— Granite Man (@GraniteDhuine) October 2, 2025
17.
Just found a fiver. pic.twitter.com/18TWYa0nMh
— Moody Bastard (@Boss__Tha) September 29, 2025
18.
The world: hey how’s it going
America: pic.twitter.com/jUaH4ns9eV
— Not Today Eric (@NotTodayEric) June 6, 2025
19.
How I determine if a woman on twitter is “real” or not
If she engages with me in any way, shape or form, she’s not real
— xXSaltyDogXx (@doggiedogthedog) September 28, 2025
20.
You guys, I said goodnight to the Amazon delivery driver. What do I do now, call him every night until the day I die?
— Ousa Medusa (@MedusaOusa) October 1, 2025
21.
If you don’t argue with the self checkout about whether there’s an unexpected item in the bagging area, are you really an adult?
— krista (@kristabellerina) September 30, 2025
22.
I like to say “don’t speak to me until I’ve had a coffee” to people because I don’t drink coffee.
— VeryBritishProblems (@SoVeryBritish) September 30, 2025
23.
taking my last sip of fluids for the day at 6 AM so I don’t have to get up to pee in the middle of the night
— Henpecked Hal (@HenpeckedHal) October 1, 2025
24.
If you ever hear me call it Starbies, i have been taken hostage and am signaling for help
— meghan (@deloisivete) September 30, 2025
25.
"I'd gone straight, but it's time for one last fackin' job lads" pic.twitter.com/9iSeCljaUF
— Al Murray (@almurray) October 1, 2025
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Our 25 Favourite Funny Tweets of the Week
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